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Summary of Question:	Need To Feel Inner Beauty And Love Myself So I Can Love Guru
Category:	Sikh Practices
Date Posted:	Wednesday, 4/01/2009 8:22 PM MDT

Sat Sri Akal ji

I am a 23 year old sikh girl. I really want to take amrit and never cut my hair but i don't stay strong on this. I am worried, I know I should not but I still think that if I wont cut my hair I wont look good. I cut my hair and shave my legs, etc. I like wearing skirts but then I wont be able to wear them if I take amrit. I understand that wearing skirts is not the most important thing but other wise also i have a lot of facial hair as well, i get them removed, etc. It's my main concern otherwise I feel really ugly. I love chanting shabads and with God's kirpa I do chant shabads or gurbani in general through out the day. Since I am in School, I dont get time to do nitnem. But i do Japji sahib, Benti chaupayi, and Anand sahib while doing my chores. I really want to take amrit and live a life of true sikh but these things distract me. I really want help, I really dont want to feel this way. I am engaged. My fiance isn't a gursikh. So, my family further more discourage me from taking amrit. They say do as much path you want but you can't take amrit until you are married and your in-laws approve your desire to do that. I personally also fear if love of my fiance would change for me since I would look different without cutting my hair. I know and I understand that these are worldly things and I should not be thinking about them. Can you kindly suggest me the way following which my Love for my guru could grow even deeper and God bless me so i feel confident and beautiful the way he made me. I do want to feel that way but I feel ugly and it really lowers my self confidence. I'd really appreciate all the comments. I do want to change my way of thinking. Just need some guidance. I want to love guru, I want my Guru to love me, I want to take amrit and wear turban, I want to do seva but my concerns over my appearance weakens my motivation and desire. This makes me feel really sad.
I shall be obliged for any suggestions you people would make.

Guru Ang Sang
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reply
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Dear one, with all due respect, taking Amrit is your own personal choice. With your level of longing and clarity, all challenges can be surpassed by going through the challenge. Continue to develop your relationship with SGGS because it will give you all the guidence you need. Read it daily in English by taking a hukam. Bring your prayer and your longing to Gurus' feet and develop your connnection with your true friend. Also, find a woman friend who is Amrit Dhari that can encourage you and give you solutions. Your position and prayer can transform the world. Besides taking daily Hukam. also daily recite: the Chand of Jaap Sahib "Ajai Alai abhai abai................" eleven time a day.

You can wear long skirts and tinted stockings or tights. You can get pointers on facial hair from your female Gursikh friends. And you can inspire and encourage your husband after your marriage.

You are beautiful and Divine. Keep up and just know you are fine. God bless you, SK