Full Circle:
One year later, the family of Balbir Singh Sodhi Moves On
911 Archives
September 9, 2002
Ek Ong Kaar Kaur Khalsa
Special to www.sikhnet.com
PHOENIX --- In the tastefully decorated living room of the Sodhi family, Sukhwinder Singh Sodhi carries his baby son in his arms. Sukhwinder Singh's face is a mixture of smiles and weariness – not unusual for a new father. Yet, his eyes hint at a heaviness that goes beyond the normal trials of caring for a three-month old. One year ago this week, Sukhwinder Singh's father, Balbir Singh Sodhi, became the first hate crime murder in the backlash that resulted from the September 11th attacks on New York City and the Pentagon. As the first anniversary of his father's death approaches, Sukhwinder looks at his own son and talks about the kind of Grandfather Balbir Singh would have been.
"If he was here, he would be proud to be a grandfather," Sukhwinder says. "He would have been a very good grandfather. He used to give children candy. He joked with them, played with them…"
Balbir Singh Sodhi owned and operated a neighborhood gas and convenience store on a quiet corner in Mesa, AZ. Like all Sikh men, in keeping with the tenants of his faith, Balbir Singh wore a turban and a long beard. His death on September 15th in a drive-by shooting by a self-proclaimed "American patriot" caught the attention of the media when the neighbors came out in force, creating a spontaneous vigil at the gas station to honor a man who, they said, had been kind, giving and an asset to the community. In the months since, Sukhwinder has done what he could to continue his father's legacy.
"It's been a really hard year," he says. "It was painful to go through all of that. But we've kept the business going. The business was my dad's dream. He worked very hard on that. So, I want to see that it's successful."
Even though Balbir Singh was the first backlash murder in the United States, he unfortunately wasn't the last. In the year since, victims' advocacy groups have identified over a dozen other murders in cities across the United States stemming from religious or cultural intolerance. And this number doesn't include the countless cases where lack of evidence keeps the cases in limbo – where officials can't make a determination as to whether the crime was hate-related or not.
In a cruel twist of fate, the Sodhi family lost another brother at the beginning of August in just such a murder. While driving his taxi cab in San Francisco, Sukhpal Singh Sodhi was shot in the neck. His taxi went out of control, crashed into a light pole and burst into flames. In the aftermath, the FBI has yet to determine whether or not the crime was hate-related, though they do concede that the murder had nothing to do with theft, since plenty of money was left in the cab.
"God chose our family to go through this," says Harjit Singh, Balbir and Sukhpal's brother. "I don't know why. First one loss, then two. It was a shock to us. My parents called and said, 'If you're not safe in that country, come back to India.' Honestly – our family's faith is in God and in the United States. This is our country. I came to this country 18 years ago. I chose Phoenix because it is the safest city in the world. I want to raise my children here.
"I believe this is a wake-up call for the whole world. We have to protect the innocent."
Although the Sodhi’s have been through so much personal pain and loss this last year, the family acts with tolerance and graciousness - serving tea, cookies and fruit to the friends, neighbors and media who are frequenting their home as the September 11th anniversary draws closer. No one speaks in anger about what happened. There is sadness there, but also a simple message.
"We wish the whole world will be at peace," says Harjit Singh. "We don't want any other innocent people killed. We hope people understand our faith in God and learn from our family's lessons. There should be peace between people."
In keeping with this message, the Sodhi family, along with the Sikh and Interfaith communities of Phoenix and the City of Mesa are sponsoring a memorial event on the first-year anniversary of Balbir Singh's murder. Titled "Embracing Diversity," the September 14th event will not only remember Balbir Singh, but also the other people who, in the last year, have been killed in backlash attacks. The purpose of the event is to promote tolerance and understanding of people of all faiths and cultural backgrounds, as well as drawing the public's awareness to the issues of backlash crimes.
"We are all brothers and sisters," says Harjit Singh. "It doesn't matter what religion you belong to."
In the days after the September 11th attacks, Sikh men, who wear turbans and beards, became targets of verbal harassment and physical violence. Some Sikhs decided it would be better to lie low for the time being, and made a painful choice to walk away from their identity as Sikhs – taking off their turbans and cutting their beards. For the Sodhi family, who has sacrificed two brothers in the name of their Sikh identity, keeping the turban and beard is an unquestionable requirement.
"If you're a true follower, you don't give up yourself," says Lakhwinder Singh, brother to Balbir. "Death is certain. It will come to you whether you have a turban or not. 16 people were killed (in backlash incidents), but only two of those wore a turban. The other people didn't and they still lost their lives."
"If you're going to walk away from your religion today," says Sukhwinder Singh, "What will you do tomorrow? The problems will keep coming no matter what. What will you do next?"
The Sodhi family agrees that the faith which gave them their turban and beard has been a powerful force in getting them through this last year. And with the birth of Sukhwinder's son, that faith has brought even more solace. Sikhs believe in One God behind all religions and people, they believe in the equality of all people regardless of race, gender, class or faith. But like many Eastern traditions, they also believe in reincarnation – where, after death, the soul comes back into a new body and has another life. Sukhwinder's son, Harnoor Singh, which means the Light of God, was born 9 months and 3 days after Balbir Singh's death. Sukhpal Singh comments with a wistful smile.
“The family thinks that, maybe, in Harnoor, my father’s soul has come back to us.”