Yogi Bhajan Lecture Archive
Lecture by :
Siri Singh Sahib Bhai Sahib Harbhajan Singh Khalsa Yogi Ji
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Lecture on: 06/21/1987
Category: Class Lectures
Location: Los Angeles, CA

The Father in Sikh Dharma

Wahe Guru Ji Ka Khalsa, Wahe Guru Ji Ki Fateh.

Today is a very auspicious day, a national day. We call it
"Father's Day." And I'm just explaining that aspect, "father"
and the Gurmat -- in the Sikh way of life what father

Sometimes we have our own virtues and we have our own defects.

"Too meraa pitaa, too hei meraa maataa."

Oh God, you are my father, you are my mother.

When this thing is said that way, mostly we understand it
religiously, my inspiration and my experience, my social
obligation, and my personal obligation towards my father. And
the same way we relate to our mother. And when we relate to
these aspects like they are our parents, it is with a feeling
of love, protection, inspiration, nurturing, nourishment, and
those kinds of things. Sometimes we do remember we have been
spanked. Sometimes we have remembered we have been gifted.
Sometimes we remember lots of things. But these are our
"earthly chores," I have called them.

The basic concept of "Too meraa pitaa, too hei meraa maataa" is
a very simple concept. The human father is basically a seed,
which is spermatozoa. Spermatozoa is father. And egg is
mother. That's the basic physical existence which nobody can
deny -- but you are only willing to accept it medically. You
don't even want to look at it spiritually. What is a father?
Spermatozoa. Penetration in zig-zag way. Something to achieve
is a father. Something to reach is a father. It's a destiny.
Reaching destiny with dignity is a father. Father is not what
you think father is.

It is very shocking to me that the very concept of father is so
hazy, so far-removed from reality. And mostly you hate father
because you think it is a matter of authority. It is not a
matter of authority. Father never is authority, never was,
never will be. It's a penetration. It is drilling through. It
is making your way. And every man who walks on a path or trail
will find a zig-zag trail. No human being can walk straight.
So its basic desire is to achieve against existence.

Why do we penetrate? Why do we go in a snake-like manner? The
snake doesn't have a bone, but it travels very fast. It pulls
up its energy by each muscle and that's what makes the curl.
It is that curl, the father, the Kundalini. It's no different
if you understand the very science of it. It is that
penetration into the Infinity of destination. It's going in the
sun, the very eye of the sun. We call it "third eye," the
center of the light. That is father.

And mother is the egg, the circle, the completeness, the
conception, the reception, the containment. It is that
pregnancy, that having, that nurturing. If you look at all
that, these are two polarities of God. Nothing is incomplete.
So complete mother and complete father means you must achieve
but you must be at peace. You must achieve but you must be in
harmony. You must penetrate, shoot through resistance. Those
curls in the walk of life is when you shoot through resistance.
It makes it easy for you. It makes it longer, but it makes it

So our concept of life is not authority. Concept of life is
achievement, fulfillment, anand, bliss. It is just like a
journey when somebody travels and travels and travels and
travels through the desert, through the mountain, through the
snow peaks and through the greens and jungle and flesh, himself
out in the open, then find a pathway and reaches the city. He
goes into a hotel, checks himself in, leaves the luggage,
closes the door and falls on the bed, very relaxed, very
achieved, very calm, very happy, extremely tired. He doesn't
want to move his muscles because it took all his strength to
pave the path and come to where the destination was. It's
fatherly. The grit, the strength, the penetration and making a
way through is fatherly. Calm, containing, nurturing,
nursing, sweet, helpful, letting him grow, protecting, is
motherly. These are the faculties on which humanity is

This morning when I arose, after all my usual meditations, I
went to the altar, and I bowed. I bowed to the altar in
respect, in reverence of my fatherly attachment. Yesterday we
had thousands of people wishing us well, and sending us flowers
and sending us gifts. And somebody found out a very beautiful
carved pen and it was a fatherly gift. Some people send lots
of other things. Gifting towards the father was not towards a
man. Gifts to the father was that acceleration and
determination and renewal of your faith and vow of achievement.
Understanding of father is to feel God is my father, Infinity
is my father, and the universe and it's nourishment is my
mother. It's such a beautiful concept by itself. It can be
reduced to the very physical existence of earthly mother and
earthly father.

But in Sikh Dharma a beautiful miracle has happened which has
never happened in any religion before. The Guru became the
father and most reached out to God who was in love..Look at the
name, Mata Sahib Deva. Deva means transparently achieved.
Angelic like. That most gracious, angel-like became the mother
of the Khalsa. And Guru Gobind Singh became the father of the
Khalsa. So the concept the mother and the father is there. Why
it is there? It is there that nobody under all circumstances
should feel like an orphan. Nobody's an orphan. We have a
mother, and we have a father, here and hereafter. And we have
a concept to achieve and to contain. We have a history and we
have a backing of it. And that is the conception of the mother
and father. Subtle.

I do not feel that your grudge, your anger against mother and
father is wrong. I see that some of you might be having a
terrible experience with your mother and father and some of you
have a beautiful experience with your mother and father.
Sometimes I know the parents even do not know what a parent is.

And in America I have a great experience. When a man and a
wife, man and a woman, husband and wife, fight, children are
not considered in the play at all. Children are used as what
you call the betting card, the most important card. Who will
have the custody and who will ruin them? And who will
overfeed them and who will not? Who will feed them and not?
Who will play with them and not? Who will emotionally and
sentimentally control them? That's all it is about. But
there's nothing that will make both let their differences down
and let go and be united because they have innocent children
which they have to raise and which they have to grade them in
life as perfect. Not at all.

And sometimes I feel how childish this world is where a child
has no place. When I see grown up people fighting
emotionally. Somebody said, "Yogiji, after ten years I have
found out we do not have the same chemistry." I said, "Thank
God your watch is very slow. You work in a laboratory with
him. I think you don't have a good test tube. After ten years
you have found you don't have the same chemistry? Is it not
that you are suffering because you are mentally not sharp
enough to cut out the negativity?" And the majority of the
people live the concept. They have become parents, they are
mother and father, but they do not live it.

I was talking three days ago to somebody, and she said, "My
father needs me." Twenty years the father never called and
told her never to come and see him. And now all of a sudden.
So there is a concept, there is a gap, there is a flaw, there
is an emptiness of a father in every life. And the same about a
mother. To solve that forever, Guru Gobind Singh took a very
plunging step. He totally took off the pain of the modern
parenthood and gave us a permanent, beautiful, alive concept.
Abstract of a father, of a mother, with which we can grow, with
which we can go, always as happy as we could be. It's a very
relaxed and profound concept. It is not that we are worried
about it. Sometimes in our work and in our busy-ness we forget
about this concept. It doesn't become a part of our everyday

Exactly that is the way we do not have a real concept of a
spiritual teacher. Spiritual is just an extension of your own
very inner grit-consciousness. It is something which is beyond
all your tattwas, chakras, environments and circumstances. But
what is a spiritual teacher then if it is a grit-consciousness?
It is a reflection. Do you have a good spiritual teacher or
not? It can be seen from the one aspect. Around your
spiritual teacher you can never forget one thing: your own
inner grit and reflection. You cannot dodge it. You always will
be pushed to the point where you should be, not where you

And sometimes it is a great fight. "Sir, I have done all
except this little thing." "You are right but, 'that little
thing'." You can take all the vitamins in the world, but take
one little pill of potassium cyanide; you'll be dead in
seconds. That little thing. That incompletion. That
sensuality, that sexuality, that ego, that emotion, that
commotion, that neurotic-ness and that syndrome of you is not
going to ever let you be free. A square cannot fit into a
circle until it is made small enough. Your incompletion, your
security of the earth will create an equal balance of
insecurity with heavens. That's why our time is wasted and our
life is wasted only considering one thing: how successful we
are here, how successful we look to the people, how great we
are. That's our concept. Have we ever thought, "How do our
parents recognize us, realize us, appreciate us?" And we do
all that.

That's also the father concept and the mother concept. It is
called, "Parental Projection." We all think, "How do our
children look?" Even our teachers do that. "How do my students
like me? How many ashrams have I got? How many things are
right about me?" It's totally ridiculous. There's a basic
concept, whether you like it or not, it will keep you pulling,
it will keep you projecting whether you have a child or you
don't have a child, whether you are parent or you are not
parent. Because that is your fundamental and fundamental must
be complete fundamentally. That's the law, nobody can avoid

So in this concept Guru Gobind Singh gave that perfection of
imagination, of realization, and a history. There's a history
to Sikh Dharma. It has never happened in any religion that an
order has been established in a religion where the Guru has
said, "I am the father, and you are the mother," at the time of
the start. When Mata Sahib Deva came and gave those sweet
candies she put in the Amrit, he said, "Khalsa is yours as a
mother. Khalsa is mine as a father." Then he went beyond
breaking all the barriers. He said, "I am the Guru and I am
the disciple."

Guru Gobind Singh has a great understanding of God, that he
blended both polarity into the oneness. He completely gave the
aspect of "Ik Ong Kar," in practical reality. Look at Jap
Sahib. Every two polarities are bowed to. "Oh God, you are
the Disease, I bow to you. Oh God, you are the Health, I bow
to you."

And you might be thinking, "How can disease be God?" Yesterday
I was talking to Guru Amrit Kaur, my Secretary General, and we
started dictating the concept of life, realism of life, how the
religious aspect can be included in certain lines, and we
talked for about a couple of hours. And she was very pleased.
She took the notes. Right from Aristotle to Communism to
Sikhism, we discussed everything. Practically we brought the
reality to that concept. And she said, "Wow, we have done a
great day." I said, "Thank you to my sickness." She said,
"How come?" I said, "If I would have been healthy would you
have gotten a time to sit down and discuss all that, write it
down and all that?

This is only now that we can even find time
to lay it all down with a pen in black and white so that the
coming generations can take advantage of it."

Similarly you felt when Guru Nanak said, "Oh Humble of the
humble, I bow to You." When he says, "Oh Poor, I bow to You;
Oh Rich, I bow to You," you do not understand the concept. The
concept is, all up and down, all low and high, all negative and
positive is the aspect of God, to which Guru Gobind Singh
reminds you, that opposite polarity of polarization does not
effect the reality of your sublimation of your consciousness.

So the aspect of father and that of the mother is very well
engraved. And it is also very respectfully accepted that the
parents on the earth may fail. They may have weaknesses. They
may not come through. Maybe children also have same desire and
that may not come through. When the forty beloved ones, the
great sons of Guru Gobind Singh, gave to him in writing, that
"You are not our Guru and we are not your disciple," the Guru
didn't believe what they said. Normally the word of the Sikh
should be acceptable. He said, "No, no, no. Jethadar, put it
in writing. I want to have it on record." Because Guru knew
it. The knowing Guru knew it. But when these 40 stood and
gave their life to defend the truth, Guru came and blessed
everyone. But when he came to the Jethadar and at that time the
prana left in his body were not very much, that very son of the
Guru who had given in writing, "You are not my father, you are
not my Guru, you are not my teacher, you are nothing to me,"
who walked out in betrayal, when Guru was blessing him for his
bravery, for his sacrifice, for his offering, at that time he
couldn't do anything. He simply told the Guru with his eyes,
"You remember that paper?" The Guru said, "Yes." He took it
and he said, "Tear it up, so that reconciliation of my destiny
may be acheived here. Nothing should come in my way."

And that was the concept of that ultimate father, that
authority, that God, that central eye in the sun, the ray of
the sun, the light on the earth, the prana. And this concept
is not which we have difficulty about. The difficulty is only
when we practice it.

I was very surprised that day, I called one of my daughters
just in a helping concept, it was no big deal. I met such a
resistance, such a rudeness and such a bitterness, I have never
seen in my whole life. It took me about 30-40 minutes to remind
her who she was talking to. It was unbelievable. And that is
what we lack in this country today as a nation, as individuals,
as people -- the receptivity of the status of age, of higher
self. Here idiots think everybody is an idiot, but he's a
super-idiot. The concept is not, "If I am an idiot, I should
take some wisdom." Taking wisdom here is not the concept. The
concept is, "All right, everybody's an idiot. I'm a super-
idiot. Then what? Who are you to tell me? Why learn? I will
learn from my idiotic behavior. If it won't fit in the
circumstances, time and space, I'll be a nervous wreck, I'll
just be Mr. Failure, and then I'll say, well, I was wrong."
Oh, are you going to speak from your graveyard? No.

The life and law of life is that you learn. Giaan, Maha budh
hei. Knowledge is, people leave knowledge. People leave
through their experience. Even in this country, this country
started as an occupation of trappers, they went and they
trapped and they passed the trails, they brought the whole
thing under control. Even they laughed at trails. From their
trails many people walked and many people learned. I do not
understand why in America people cannot learn from other
people's mistakes. There's a great pride here. If 20 people
have commited a mistake and drowned to death the 21st wants to
go and drown himself because that's the only way he feels he
has achieved something. Such a self-destructiveness is from
the basic inherited anger. Anger against the father.

The ladies have become anything because they feel that they
should have been a son to be able to do anything. That little
piece of meat which God has not given them has taken them
psychologically and logically away from the concept to have the
grace of being a woman. I have never understood that how great
a miracle happened when God made you a woman and you do not
want to live the definition of that concept. God has made you a
man, you do not live the concept of that. Here ladies are
becoming men and men are becoming women. And both are in a
mess. That's why when two people come to counsel with me, they
can't handle each other. Actually problem is not counseling.
Problem is they are both not hungry, they have both eaten, and
they are both under one shelter. The problem is that the
daughter, because of the wrong concept of the father image, is
trying to become a man. And that man, the son, is trying to
become a woman by the iron concept of the mother. Now this is
a fundamental gene problem. That's why there is so much

Situations occur, like you want don't want to see your first
born is a daughter. You always want first born as a son. There
are two children who suffer the most. The first born and the
last. Why? It is a simple thing. They are not being nurtured
and nursed right and they are not being given what they should
be given as fundamental values. The last ones are totally
spoiled. Either the first ones are over-loved and over-
spoiled or they are totally ignored. Because sometimes
psychologically the fear of death and the concept of
achievement, "well, this is the born out of me is going to take
over from me." One way or the other, I'm not discussing the
whole psycholgy here. I'm telling you the Dharma.

But Guru Gobind Singh knew all that. He understood it well.
He offered himself as a father of every Khalsa, Mata Sahib
Deva as a mother of every Khalsa, so that imaginative in
feeling, in respect, in projection, in understanding, there is
a proper substitute. There is a proper understanding. There is
something to inspire, go to, accomplish. Because principle of
being a father is to accomplish. And the accomplishment is
achieving and being the bliss. That's why the line of the
Anand Sahib says, "Anand Bhe-aa meree maa-eh, Satiguroo meh
paaiaa." I have found the True Guru. And Guru is the...Gu-
Ru...Darkness and Light. Where darkness and light become
united, become one, that is Guru.

So long we are in the duality of aspect and projection,
rejection and acceptance, love and hatred, me and you, Thou and
us, all that what we are doing in life does not mean
achievement. It does not give us reality of life. It's not a
concept we grow for. The knowledge to achieve is to know and
to grow, and to understand.

Somebody said, "You don't recognize the bad?" I said, "I not
only recognize the bad, I recognize the rotten." What should
we do? When you see something rotten just bow, and thank God
in gratitude that you are not the one. And when you see
something very precious and good, then bow. Thank God that you
have seen something very good and you can aspire yourself to

So life has a lesson and a projection, and father in the image
of the Dharma, in the image of the Khalsa, in the image of our
practices, is a very practical achievement. Right from that to
that, this to this. It is well illustrated, well explained.,
and with us forever. That's why on this Father's Day we bow to
our father, Guru Gobind Singh. We ask him for a Happy Father's
day. Thousands and thousands of us are now at Guru Ram Das
Puri, doing exactly what we are doing here. But today even as
we are, we are also celebrating that concept. The concept is
very alive in Sikh Dharma. Minus that concept, a Sikh is not
in a position to understand himself.

That's why sometimes you understand why we are very achieving.
Achieving principle is that father principle, reaching to the
central eye of the sun. And what reaches that s-u-n, is s-o-n.
That's why both words are spelled differently but they sound
the same. Son reaches to the sun. The ray of light reaches
back to the supreme light, the sun. And it is that achievement
of that circle, that calmness, that containment, that territory
of compassion, kindness, love and Infinity, that is the mother.
And this aspect we have grown, we have achieved, we have

Sometimes we do feel that life is as it is. Guru Gobind Singh
as a Father of the nation of the Khalsa has an answer to it. He
said, "Believe in your higher self, and believing in your
higher self is achieving your higher self." And in that
penetration, that walk, he did not use kirpan to make Amrit. He
used the double edged sword, he used the Khanda. He said,
"Negative and positive is the same. How you handle it, that
matters. With what strength you handle." It's not how you
handle it, but with what strength you handle it, that matters.
And this is the achievement through which we grow. That's why
the realization that we are Sikhs of the Guru, the realization
that we are the Khalsa, the realization that we are born to be
Khalsa, all that is understandable only if we understand, "Too
meraa pitaa, too hei meraa maataa." This concept. And
recognizing this concept, not that you are having a
quarrelsomeness with your father and therefore with every
father, the principle, whole thing. You are not fighting with
this earthly father. You are fighting with an ideological
principle and that is painful in life. You are not fighting
with your mother. You are fighting with the ideology of that

That's why Guru Gobind Singh gave you a new concept that he is
the father, he is the mother, of the very concept of the
Khalsa. It means the purity. Khalsa means the pure one. The
purity is based on the concept of that reality to which the
imaginative practical and adoring father is needed. The
penetration and the achievement of the penetration to the reach
of that of what it is said to be the destiny is that of Gobind
Singh, the Guru. Go-bind, who nurtured the "Bind."
Spermatozoa is the bind. That ultimate nurturing principle of
that "bind," that beeja, that self. You think the names came
and everything just came out of this, just as you call yourself
something. That's not true.

And Mata Sahib Deva, the perfect one, the circle, the egg, the
circle, and the transparent Goddess of perfection and the
perfect container, sustainer and acheiver, the two met together
to give the parenthood to the Khalsa. And Amrit came from the
Double-edged sword. So there's nothing good, nothing bad.
That's why Guru said, "To the Sickness of the sickness, to the
Death of the death, to the Worst of the worst, to the Best of
the best, to the Health of the health, to the Achievement of
the achievement, I bow." I bow, I salute. This achievement of
philosophy is a practical reality which must be looked at.

And my idea was, today when we are celebrating Father's Day, we
are celebrating summer solstice, and we are having a great day
in the House of Guru Ram Das, I wanted to share with you a
Happy Father's Day which was in my heart, which I understood as
a Sikh of the Guru, which I understood as a son of Guru Gobind
Singh and Mata Sahib Deva, which I understood in the concept of
that projection, with which this other earthly handicaps of
father and mother couldn't touch, because when you are ready
for a sacrifice, you are ready for a walk, you are ready for an
achievement, then you say, "It's a glory who you belong to,
carry you through." And if you belong to low parenthood, low
concepts, you cannot achieve higher concepts.

And that handicap Guru Gobind Singh and Mata Sahib Deva took
away when they gave us the concept of the Khalsa. Then Khalsa
became the reality, we became the reality, they became our
mother and father, here and hereafter and that's why I wish to
my father, your father, the father of the Khalsa. Can you
believe you belong to a path, you belong to a Dharma where we
can practically say, "Happy Birthday, Oh my Father, Guru Gobind
Singh," and instead of Guru, you can also understand that he is
also your father? And uou can also understand that Mata Sahib
Deva is your mother, and on mother's day you can help play that
concept. What I'm saying is, you are fortunate to belong to a
path where there is no handicap, because nothing has been left
out. It is well-detailed. Why? Because the totality of
polarity has been brought into unisonness of that affection so
that each one can achieve a realism in life through purity,
through divinity, through dignity and through grace.

Wahe Guru Ji Ka Khalsa
Wahe Guru Ji Ki Fateh!

YB Teachings, LLC 1987

Above Article Copyright Yogi Bhajan 2002. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED.

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