Yogi Bhajan Lecture Archive
Lecture by :
Siri Singh Sahib Bhai Sahib Harbhajan Singh Khalsa Yogi Ji
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Lecture on: 07/12/1989
Category: KWTC
Location: Espanola, NM

Reversal Love

These are the presents? (Starts opening presents.) This is the best one. What is it? There is something in it? Okay, open it. What is this? Yum yum yum! It is a yummy yum yum. This is something to cut your throat, it looks like... can you believe this? It must be written there, figure it out. All metals and all presents go into archives, and into the museum, right? So treat them nicely.

I barely was going to bring those two Eves, to put it on left side. One was Eve condemned from the Garden of Eden. One is Eve of resurrection. They are in my office. I'd like to show you sometime if you feel like. A Christian thought. The first thing which you must know, our story of life in the West starts with Eve; and Eve is devilish, and she is not very honest to God, and she gave the apple to Adam, and she made the man to suffer and she didn't listen to the God, and she, whatever she did, she did. They threw her out of the Garden of Eden, right? And she listened to the snake, and they were both outside and did they make sex in the Garden of Eden, or they made it outside? Anybody knows? Huh? Inside of Garden of Eden they made sex and that was bad enough. And sense then we have never made sex, huh? Jesus Christ! These stories....

Well, you understand, we've got to live with all this. What else went wrong? She ate the apple? She gave it to Adam, the apple, and he had a bite, and he became horny, and what was that? Something must have happened. So God Almighty... "Hodaa puchhai ga janat re paak baadoo se, gunaa kio na kee-ay kaam rahe naate", God will ask the pious people in the heavens, "Why didn't you commit sins? Don't you think we were forgiving?"

What this couplet says is that nobody trusts God, and nobody trusts another person. We all have our own morals, our own ethics, our own geography, our own right and wrong. We have been all taught and blended and branded and everything is all fixed. Fact is, who is who?

You know, it is very funny. You go to the northern territory of Canada, there are Eskimos living there. You can't live there. You know, you may try to be very smart. There's no way. And when you go as a guest, the chief will give you his youngest wife and two polar bear skins to sleep in. And that is just to keep you warm at night. Normally people think, "Well, he gave you a wife, and you must have a sex." This is our Western consciousness. But you know in that sub-80, minus 120 chill factor temperature, who can be horny? Tell me. Is there anybody who can think of sex? All he can think of is surviving. And why they give the youngest wife is, she can be alert, she can be awake, and if the guy at night gets the cold, what they call it? (frostbite) It happens to people there at that temperature because the earth moves slow, people get very phobic and they die.

Somebody told me that story, you know, he gave the wife and all that. And somebody thought perhaps he had a good time. But I know how much good time you can have in minus 115 degrees centigrade. How much good time anybody can have? But this is how we think. We think everything, good time. Everything good time.

But 'good time' is what Guru Arjan gave us. That was good time. Endurance of the man to the ecstasy of God, blended together, heaven and earth met together on a hot plate. That is called 'good time.' Look at it. Man sitting on a hot plate and having a hot sand on him in the month of June, and smiling. Look at that endurance. Look at that nervous system. Look at that meditative mind. It was a human. He was Guru, but human, born as a human, bestowed as a Guru, punished by the emperor, took the punishment, sat on a hot plate, they put hot sand on him, total body got blistered. Every evening they cooled it off so he can be more pained.

Finally they finalized with him one thing. Now today your death is assured. Because he endured it. Death was that they will kill a cow and take the raw hide and stitch him in it. You can ask the last wish. He said, "My last wish is that I should take a bath." Because death is inevitable now. It doesn't mean anything. They said, "Okay, take him to the river. Ice cold water. When his body will be there, gee, he will be really hurt." They were very happy about it. They took him there. They put the nets around him, under, over, all sides. And they told him, "This is the area, you can be put in there, because there was no limb to move." So as a statue, they threw him in the water. And they couldn't even track down a piece of bone. It all dissolved. That's a 'good time.' That endurance is human. That is the strength when you can face the calamity and smile with it.

What are your 'good times?' Good time in America is when there is a holiday and everybody gets drunk and breaks up the plates in the house. They call it, 'good time.' We have totally messed up our definition of 'good time.'

Where do you want to draw the line of being weak, being emotional, being commotional, being neurotic, being psychotic? Where do you want to draw the line? How many people you can date and how many people you can marry overnight and how many people you can sleep with, and how many people you can be beaten from, and how many people you can beat up? What do you want to do in life? Have you ever thought of it? The only thing you can do in your life is be independent and free and have a good time and your nervous system should be stronger, as strong as God is.

You know one thing? That's what God is to me. When you can bear and bear and still share. That's 'good time.' That's what 'vand chakko' means. Bear and bear, and bear, and bear, and you can still share, and you can still smile for awhile, even in the face of the calamity.

What is the good time when you are drunk, and you have eaten, and you are without clothes and you are running around? You call it a good time? When you have four boyfriends on the side, six husbands on the list, and nine appointments? You call it good time? I'm asking you something. Do you really think that you can be yourself for a while and you can be very happy? And if you can't, are you a human?

If you take my personal life and just go along with me, 20 years of it, the torture, the tragedy, the insult, the hardship, whatever you want to call it, don't you feel that that was very good doing it, because of what we have today? Is there any substitute for endurance? Is there anything called 'ecstasy' in the face of the courage? Is there any great experience in the face of the courage? No. There's no substitute for endurance. And there's nothing more divine and Godly and wonderful than the self-courage. Man is not born a slave. Man is born in truth in the image of God. And every man, human, wife, child, has to learn one thing: there's no turning back, and there's no playing weak.

You know, it is very funny. I was on a telephone, those kind of field telephones? See how the attitude is. And the other side said, "Sir, myself and my men feel weak." You understand? It's a normal communication. And I said, "Next week. Now we are in very combat situation. This week discuss nothing. Next week." He couldn't understand what I was saying and I couldn't understand what he was saying. He was saying, "My men are weak." And I said he was talking about NEXT week. What is weak? There are 52 weeks in a year. That's a week.

You know, you have been taught that you are only you. You have never been taught that you have ten bodies; this body is not the only body. You have never been taught that 70% is unknown, and 20% is you, and 10% is the relevancy. Projected projective relevancy. Projective. And you have never been taught in any religion that you are just a living psyche... you are a living organism. They call it a science. What is science? The truth. And you have never been taught that you are ten trillion cells and you are 30 trillion living organisms dancing and within 72 hours you are totally changed. There's nothing, not even a part of you, lives in 72 hours. You life as an organic being. Your blood, your chemistry, your psyche, your cells and their magnetic frequency all change within 72 hours. And they DO renew themselves. It's not that you have to believe it. This is an organic world.

When I see you like this, I can't believe you. When I go in Beverly Hills and I see these rich ladies with bangs, and I just remember, how Kubla Khan conquered China. Kubla Khan was a Mongolian Emperor. He attacked China. He conquered it. Chinese were very eloquent fighters, and very intelligent. He couldn't do anything, but he fought and fought. After him came his son, Ghengis Khan, and he told him that in his dream he always thought the Chinese would be very obedient, but in reality Chinese have caused more casualties and more rebellions than he can afford. Ghengis Khan said, "I'll put China in its place." Now this is the order Ghengis Khan gave: "Every man... every Chinese man has to shave off his head up to the solar centers, including the rishi knot bottom place and they can keep their back hair, not their front. And every woman, born in entire China, should have face bangs. Hair brought down and face covered." And you know, have you ever seen the China doll? They are just like here, here,
and exactly. He ordered that. "In case anybody's found otherwise, he should be beheaded publicly."

Hairs are a bad conductor of electricity and heat, and they are also electromagnetic antennas. So what he did is he served two purposes. He put a fear complex at the time of birth of the child by giving a hair style like that. He ruled China and his generations ruled China. China is still not today together. He came to Persia, conquered Persia. He came on the border. And he sent a letter to the emperor that, "I want every Persian to surrender individually." Forget about fighting, whatever you are.

Now Persia was at that time one of the most powerful states. There was no doubt about it. And there comes this Mogul up there and he says, "Surrender, and every INDIVIDUAL should surrender." Now, how Persia can tolerate it? So what he did is, he attacked the biggest, first town available. Luckily he captured it. He captured the fort, he captured the city, and he captured the soldiers guarding it. Total was 50,000 people, adults. 50,000 adults. He took their eyeballs, of all 50,000 people, roasted them in a big vat, and made them to eat. And then he sent them into entire Persia. Do you know, in 3 days the king sent a letter, "We'll individually surrender to you." The earth has never seen a man who put such a psychological war on mankind. He totally plundered Asia, and at that time whatever of the earth was known to him. But do you know, he never fought a one total war? He just fought one battle and created such a havoc.

In one city he captured every woman, tied her hands backward and hung their children from the center of the hand and sent them free. Now just imagine in another city, 60,000 women coming, hanging their children, and dragging them behind. Torture can be anything. Now these tortures you are listening to, you are very shocked about, right? Aren't you?

What about when you shock your own personality by corruption, by negative thoughts, by cheapness? Is that any way not equal to all this torture. Have you asked your consciousness and your soul how much you torture yourself, how cheap your sell yourself, how in every dealing, and in every situation, how much you are not together? You think that is not a torture?

Once I had a very powerful discussion with one girl and she said, "I don't think we should wear bana." I said, "I think you should." She said, "Why should I?" I said, "You should." She said, "Why?" I said, "You should. That's it." "Well, give me three good reasons." I said, "Three good reasons is, when you put on a bana, you cannot act three things: you cannot act your corruption publicly; you cannot act corruption mentally; and you cannot act corruption spiritually."

It's not bana we are talking about. It's self crowning, and it's the first lesson of self esteem. What's happening in the marketplace today? You like to look like a commoner and you like to tell people, "I am available. I am one among you." And some of you really will see people dressed up. Their very dress tells you they are on sale. And some are so wonderful that they are dressed up so wonderful that they are a going out of business sale. "Have me please." That kind of dress. And western style is to put $50,000 worth of a dress and keep one leg slipped so you can keep your knee out to show your thigh.

Man has always tried to make a prostitute out of a woman, and from day one until death he will continue, because he has a vindictiveness against the mother. He cannot forgive his own mother. And ladies, when you tell a man everything negative, and tell him what his weaknesses are, and confront him with that, you are no longer his wife! He might have slept with you last night when the light was off, but he doesn't like you, he will hate you, because that is what his mother did to him all the years.
All the years the mother said, "Don't do this, do this. You are wrong, John wrong, John right, John eat potato, John don't eat potato, John go up, John go down, John dance, John sit, John get out of the house, John get in the house, John, John, John, John, don't go play, you can't eat candy, you can't eat candy, you can't play, you can't come in, you do housework, you don't do housework, you wash dishes, you don't wash dishes."

What are you? You're the same thing. What you can tell a person who has come after 18 years of total imprisonment? Huh? To ask him, "You are going to be in this room for 24 more hours." Are you kidding? He'll punch your face, break your jaw. That is how you treat your man. "This is not available, that's not available, this can't be done, this can't be done, I have this thought, I have that thought, I was thinking that way, I was thinking that, somebody told me this, somebody told me, I don't want to tell you this, I don't want to say this, I'm saying this because I'm telling you this, because that is..."

You know, you look like so stupid!

You don't make sense. He's a man you live with -- he's not your child! Win him, don't wean him. You have never left the habit of weaning your kids. So you wean man, then you marry again. You wean man, you marry again. You wean man, and marry again. And what is the difference? One man with 250 mistakes; the other man with 215. And if you are very lucky, you get a man with 105. Big deal. If you get a man with only 84 mistakes, you are the goddess. Including me, all men have more than 84 personal and impersonal weaknesses. Next year I'll tell you, not now. They are all the same.

All men have one thing they are seeking: they are not seeking a woman, they are not seeking a woman for sex or for children or for family. They are not. You are dead wrong. Men are seeking a fairy with that star-stick. (a magic wand.) Don't you understand that? That's what men want. They want a fairy with that stick, she should say, "Gilly gilly come", and things happen. "There is the food, and there are the clothes and there is the money, and there is the home." That's all they want. Ask your own husband tonight on the telephone, what he thinks of you. Men want to be married to fairies. This is what the scriptures say. Now I'm not lying to you. A man wants a goddess in the living room, a chef in the kitchen, and a prostitute in the bed. Fully qualified, PhD. Graduate won't work.

And look at how his gears change: he wants to live in the living room and say, "Thank you very much, you are welcome, we have been waiting for you," and all that. In the bedroom he says, "You looked at my guests too much. What were you doing? What part it was you liked? You were totally locked with him. Did he look to you like your boyfriend you were with? What was the fun of it? He's my friend, he came to my house and you were, God, looking at him. What were you doing? You want to sleep with him?" When he's in the bed at the side of you, that's what he wants to know. But when in the living room he wants you to open your heart, and say 'hi,' and ba ba ba ba ba. And that's all fine. And when you go to the bedroom, "What!?"

Have you seen men when they have already eaten at their girlfriend's house? They come in the house and you have the whole table set and they say, "What is this? Last Friday I had this. Why you have this all the time?" And the same idiot, when he is hungry and girlfriend has not fed him and he did not have lunch or dinner, whatever, "Where is the food? Oh, God, this is tasty." And he will never even care to sit down. He'll grab it and eat it.

That animal you have married with. You don't understand, they don't have tolerance. You are born to tolerate men. Ask God and complain to Him and fire Him from His job. He's not doing all right. But fact is, God has made a woman to tolerate a man in order to re-create a family. That is why you are called 'Adi Shakti.' Aad Shakti namo namo. That's what you are. The primal nucleus power. With absolutely no deficiency, complete and perfect and positive and can create another human being out of her. She can bring God on earth, she can bring a saint, and she can bring heavens, and she can build a house with a needle which man cannot build with millions of dollars and with all his vigilance. Ladies, I am not talking to you something out of non-reality. These are the facts. When you are corrupt, you are terribly corrupt. When you are not, you are the most powerful individual psyche on the planet. Your weakness is not you. Woman is proportionately non-tolerable by the heavens, by her
proportion of corruption. Man IS corrupt. Even a saint of a saint of a saint of a saint of a saint is corrupt, period! Whether he is a yogi, or a swami, or a spiritual this, that, they are all.

You know why he is corrupt? He's a Purkha. An impotent purkha on the earth. They can't do a thing. Behind every great man there's a one great woman. If not in physical body, then it is in image. There are very fortunate few men whose mother have left them the image of divinity and courage and grace. These are the men who change the world.

You think there is any man on the earth who is moving ground, and who doesn't have a powerful image what moves him and a power image that guides him? There is not a powerful image which protects him? Not at all! Men are not corrupt because they are corrupt. They are corrupt because they did not fit in that image in any woman. They are searching. As you love to wean men, they love to search women. Every man is pursuing a woman of his image and every woman wants to wean a man and wants to find him in reversal love. That's the psychology I want to talk to you. Reversal love.

Let me tell you in American English: First you want to shit on a man, then you want to clean him up, then you want to make a cake out of it, and then you want to serve it.

Did I say it all? Huh? You got it? It is called 'reversal psychology.' Reversal psychology is a basic identical nature of a female that out of her basic inherited insecurity she wants to test a man through the tragedy of calamity by her own behavior. Quote-unquote. It is called 'test and trial confrontation.' She wants to know whether this man she loves... lives with, makes it, wants to make family, wants to make him... is forever. And while finding out if he is forever or not, she tears him apart and shreds him to pieces and after that she wants him to build up and rise. Every woman.

You know this resurrection of the Jesus Christ out of the female gods and all that? It's absolutely a psychological story. Woman brings him when he is sick and dead and she sits and guards and watches him to resurrect. EVERY woman among you! You can lie to yourself and I can just accept it, but you all want a man who can rise from the dead, and who can say, 'Bless thee, oh my woman, I have seen heavens, and on the earth you will have all what you need, including your boyfriend.'

You need 5, 6, 9, 8, 10...you need 8 men to cater to you. You are 8 facet personality. Did you know that? You should hire a catering service. Moment the woman is free now, watch these clubs where they go and the men strip dance. Right? And do the whole thing. You think it is entertainment? No. That is really what you want because you have never forgotten your child who was naked. You always want to see a man naked. Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes.

I was counseling a woman and the husband and wife have a terrible time and I couldn't believe what to do and we tried everything. Finally I gave them a solution, I said, "When you make sex at night, you should put all night lights up." They are happily married. She totally takes his clothes off and whole thing, and that guy is next day, never in his office. I know that. He can't, no. I mean, for marriage he is doing it, but for children, also. He can't stand it. He feels she is very mean and she makes him to do it, and he feels I am very, very pro-woman and stupidly helping her. I don't know. Sometimes he expresses his madness.

You sometimes do not even know why you go through what you go through. You always want to wean a man and you say, "I couldn't bear it any more." No. You have the capacity to turn your blood into milk and nurture a boy. Is that true? Huh? You call it 'son,' right? Is that true? And after a year or two, you want to wean him, right? You never forget that habit.

Your moon.. weaning and waxing... is your way of life. Do you understand that? And they say, what are you, luna? Lunar? (Not lunatic, but lunar.) You are lunas. Lunar has to wean and wax, is that true? And you do it all the time, "That's my boy friend, that's my husband, that's my pocket friend, that's my friend who sends flowers, and that's the friend I go to sleep with."

Don't worry about it now, I mean to say, it's not true what I am saying, but just watching 20 years from now how this society is going to come out about. There'll be contract marriages. And woman initiates it. You know what is going to be society tomorrow? "I am married to her and married to him, and she is my girlfriend and he is my boyfriend, we all five are together." and if today somebody tells you, you will never understand what somebody is saying.

Weaning is, let a man go. Waxing is, trap another one. But out of all the days, there is a one full moon day when you are glorious, cool, calm, presiding, beautiful, bountiful and blissful. That's the full moon. And out of that also there's one when there is no moon. Stars cover your work. Is that all it is about? No. You've got to rise above it.

That's why I say it isn't the life that matters, it is the courage you bring to it. There's no substitute for courage. Without courage, you can't even get up in the morning. And God has given you 16% capacity more than a male to be courageous. Your good time is in your shine, in your glow, in your grace. Your good time is not to become a prostitute. Your good time is not to become somebody's sickness substitute. Your good time is not tolerating evil and death to your own and to those who you love. That's not good time. Good time is when you make adversity and calamity into the glory and you change. By a mental thought you can change calamity into a reality and prosperity. Woman has a power of God without asking for it. Man has to worship to get it. That's the fundamental difference that men are saints and women are not, because man has to work and get recognized and all that. You are born saints... but you have to acknowledge it.

Normally in your identity you become a substitute for somebody's catering service, and you really do it well. Because your power of sacrifice is great, your biochemistry is wonderful. You can turn your blood into milk. I can't do it, can I? No man can do it. You can hold a child 9 months alive within you. You know? You can't hold a husband for 9 seconds. He just says something and you jump out of your skin.

Don't you understand there's an integrity of a woman? Woman: nothing but who contains all growth and all harmony and all calmness. What are the three things I said? (Growth, harmony and calmness.) That's what moon does. No relationship will remain if you do not add three things: growth; harmony; and calmness to life. Growth, harmony, calmness to life. That is your sector.

You think you are just born, you are woman, that's it. That's more than enough. Huh? No, no. Every woman has to train herself to be a woman. Within you the three faculties of a woman must be handy. What are those three faculties? (Growth, harmony and calmness.) If you apply them with every situation, you'll be worshipped. You'll be considered wise. You'll be loved. People will adore you. But if you are psychotic, neurotic, confronting, use foul language; you abuse, use, misuse, you substitute, prostitute... if your attitude is that way, who wants that?

Why you are blaming men? I'm not telling you they are good. They are sixteen times weaker than you to begin with. They don't have a nervous system to hold on to anything. What do you do? Put a quilt on yourself and say, "I am not feeling well." Don't you say that sometimes? Huh? You know what happens to a man when you do that? Anybody can tell me? Give the correct answer. (Freak out.) Not true, not true, they don't freak out. That is the day they want to ring their girlfriend... "I am coming."

No, no, men don't freak out when you misbehave. You are responsible in every aspect for making a man to have... to know how to treat a woman. Because man cannot stand one thing in a woman: whosoever is a man, if he is a man... even a man, deadly man, nothing man... when he finds that woman is giving him a substitute, he finds it. To him you are not a woman... the way you look in the mirror; he wants that fairy. Even if you are lying dead, you have nothing to do, he says, "Where is my tea?" You say, "One minute, I'll give it to you." That's what they want. I'm sorry. Will a child wait when he wants a milk? You don't give a child milk, what he does? (Makes crying sounds like a baby.) Have you seen? What do you think men are? They want milk, they want milk, give them. If you don't give them, they'll stop crying. If nothing they will grow in a trauma, right?

You don't have to go to a school to learn. You don't have to go to a college to learn. You don't have to come here to learn. Learn it from the basic psychology. It is called 'behavior psychology.' Whatever the boy wants from the mother, that a man wants from a woman, but in a romantic way. That's the only difference, nothing else. You have to also say to this stupid man, 'my dear, would you like to have a cup of tea?' If you say, "Do you want a cup of tea?" (said very practically and factually,) then you are mother. If you say, "Could you please have cup of tea? Should I make it for you?" he'll say, "my stern bitch." Watch his face, his body language. That is what he is going to say. He may be absolutely a gentleman, PhD in behavior and manners. If you do not talk to... look, whether you are married to a stupid man or great man, forget about that, you are a boyfriend or girlfriend or in society -- a woman will get this whenever she does not talk romantically to man. Romantic to you is for
sex. Absolutely dead wrong! Romantically also means give him the Garden of Eden back which he lost because of you. He cannot stop cursing you because he lost Garden of Eden because you made him to eat apple and you listened to the snake. Therefore you are deadly. You understand the basic psychology? And men never forget. Even those who are not Christian remember this story.

Three quarters of the world is not Christian, but this story in the Bible is known to everybody. Every man on the earth knows that you listened to the snake and you made him to eat the apple and he lost the Garden of Eden, and therefore you must give it to him back. Now how you are going to do that?

There are ways to do it. No, no, no! Your system won't work! I'll give you the system. First talk graciously and romantically. Add both. One won't work. If you add romantically, he'll have you. If you add only graciously, then you are Mother Superior -- no good. No, no, no, you can't do that! So add graciously AND romantically. And give his Garden back and feed him caringly, like a mother cares for the child. It is called 'nurturing behavior.' He wants you to nurture him through communication, through behavior and through service. Is that enough? Is that enough curse to be a woman? Huh? Now, don't you feel angry? That's why you have to be COOL. That's how lunar is... otherwise you'll be lunatic. A hot woman is a lunatic woman. It means she is out of her orbit. Neither ever be harsh, hard or whatever those words are... add them. Find them in the dictionary. I don't want to repeat it. It doesn't matter WHAT happens, you should NEVER be rude! You should never be rude in language, crude in behavior, and angry
in reaction. These are three fundamental things you have to learn. I cannot help you. I can only remind you. And teach your daughters a technology.

You know when somebody has to be a Prince of Wales... he has to be king... they teach him. Similarly you teach your children to be successful. Teach your daughters to be successful. You know, a lot of parents, when they have a daughter, the fathers, they give all the latitude. Later on, who these girls will marry? No one. No husband can give that latitude. These daughters think it is their fundamental right to have a latitude. They ask for latitude, it is not available. There will be no marriage. If you don't give your sons the understanding of how to confront life with courage, they'll be coward in their life. If you do not give your son the courage, and females the behavior of grace, you have already set the ground for divorce.

Just remember, all the three start with 'G'. God, grace, and goodness of the heart (which is known as courage for man). Goodness of the heart is not that you give fifty dollars to somebody who deserves five dollars. Goodness of the heart is that in the face of death you remain good and courageous. Goodness of the heart is not what you understand. Goodness of the head is not when you cleverly win the point. Goodness of the head is when you make some life happy, though it doesn't deserve it. Goodness only means when you make the impossible possible, and do not claim the benefit.

You know, entire Gita has one line. It's a thing which is pure wisdom. And it is a story, a fairy tale, no big deal. But there is one thing where Arjan questioned Krishna, the God, the human God. The disciple questioned the teacher. And he said, "What now?" And Krishna answered, "Arjan, do your job, and don't expect the reward. Reward I give. Not the action." Arjan karam kar, pal meh deh thao. Pal karam ke bas nee hai. That's the only theory in the whole life you should understand. Actions have reactions, but not the fruit reward. If you can understand this thing, you can become the wisest person on the planet. Action has reaction. All right. But it doesn't have the proportionate reward. And that is what you don't understand. Are you with me? You understand what I'm saying? You feel you have an action, therefore there's a reaction, and reward is guaranteed. Action and reaction are human. Reward is by the unknown. Subject and object and act and react -- reward comes from
the unknown.

You know, I am sitting here, all right? We had a terrible lawsuit for 2-1/2 years where I was alleged as a womanizer and rapist and... God knows... all that. Correct? You all know that. It was a lawsuit. I am so grateful to those two girls: one is my Secretary General and one is my own Resident Secretary. They were just like my kids. I'm so grateful to them for that lawsuit, because I had a heart condition, I was not well, and they brought the lawsuit, put the whole community together. Calamity puts people together. Prosperity scatters them. To us it was a tragedy. How can they do it? God! How it is possible? Ha ha ha! We had to collect money to fight it, we had to do all that, but remember?... That put us all together. That tested our faith, that tested our commitment. If they would have not brought the lawsuit... as I was absolutely immobile and not working and nothing... what was the force keeping you going?

I'm know all are very mad and why the hell she did it, and I understand that. I understand your point of view. And I don't like to be called womanizer and rapist and all that. I understand that, too. But just understand one thing... and I learned one of the greatest wisdoms out of that situation... everybody loved me and liked me, nobody trusted me. And I realized that man is not trustworthy, it doesn't matter how good he is. You don't believe me? I cannot tell you a private detail between my student and my teacher. I have an obligation not to. But fact is, I, Siri Singh Sahib Bhai Sahib Harbhajan Singh Khalsa Yogiji, Mahan Tantric, Yogi, International Spiritual Leader, PhD, Doctor, was not trusted as a man. Absolutely true. "Maybe he has not done it, maybe he has done it, maybe it escaped our scrutiny. Maybe. Maybe not, it's not possible. Maybe. It might have happened when I was not there."

And I went through it. And then there were people who were suggesting to me, "Ahh, let us compromise. Why to fight? It is a ridiculous waste of time and energy." And I said just one word. "We shall fight. If not, but for the example of it. If not, for the tradition of it. If not, just for the fun of it." "Why?" I said, "Tomorrow these young kids who are born with me as Siri Singh Sahib Bhai Sahib Harbhajan Singh Khalsa Yogiji, the spiritual leader and teacher, they cannot be betrayed. Who the hell cares whether I live or not, whether I have respect or not, whether I have reputation or not, whether I did it or not?" "Suppose you are convicted?" they said. I said, "No. I cannot be convicted. Love cannot be cashed by hatred. This lawsuit is hatred and it is a plot. Lawsuit is that the American Sikhs should join that terrorist movement. I am a moderate leader, only leader left. I won't agree. And they do not understand why not."

It was blackmail pressure, and I wouldn't give in. And they said, "All right, you'll have it." I would have it. They called me in a conference in New York, and three conditions were given: take your family and your personal wealth and leave United States. Second condition was that I give all the assets of the Sikh Dharma to five members of ours and those five members will manage the assets. Number three, (look at this number three), Bhai Jiwan Singh, with five Punj Piaras will go to all the American ashrams and will re-amrit you. I mean, re-baptize you. And you know what was my reply?... I'm giving you this example so you should learn... I said, "All right, you take five people, purify yourself, bring the Siri Guru Granth, and question me, and then punish me. Tell me that I am wrong, and then I will write a letter to the Akal Takhat which bestowed on me this honor and ask them to agree to this." "No, no, no, we cannot write to Akal Takhat!" I said, "What is this? Akal Takhat
made me. The highest religious authority made me what I am. And it is my obligation to write to them that I have been branded womanizer and all that stuff, so I'm not worthy of this whole thing, therefore I have been punished, therefore please certify this." They said, "No, no, no, nobody will certify that! " Can you believe it?

I said, "What is this? You think these Americans are sheep?" I said, "Forget it. They had Khalsa Council when you didn't hear it. They meet twice in a year. They check everything. They sit on assets. Our constitution has checks and balances, even America doesn't have. Do you know if I were to sanction any amount as Siri Singh Sahib, there are three signatures, one among them is sitting here, she doesn't let a penny go?" And if it escapes Sopurkh, there comes the mama Shakti, you can't get out of her a half penny.

No religion can be personal. No Dharma is ever personal. Dharma belongs to Dharma itself, and only the servant is happy that it can have the opportunity and honor to serve it. That's all I feel and that's all I want to feel, and I am leaving this message to those who sit on my seat tomorrow, and they shall call themselves to be any spiritual person: In every religion things can go on, but in Sikh Dharma, it's not possible. I can give them the experience. Dharma is owned by Dharma, and in Dharma whosoever uses personal decision, personal convenience and personal ego, shall be rotting very fast. It's not possible. It's not practical, is it? It's not practical. Man shall die, Dharma shall live. And how can a mortal serve the Immortal? That's a privilege. If I got the privilege, I have to live it. I'm a man, I think as a man, I feel as a man, I understand things as a man. Then I am a yogi, I know what pair of the opposites is. But when I decide, it is the Siri Singh Sahib who has to
decide. I can't decide. I, within I, is not the Siri Singh Sahib.

That is what all of you have to know: woman within you is not the woman... woman, that grace, it is called 'status.' Integrity and status, these are the two things in life, and the two can only be with you if you have infinite courage, otherwise forget about life, you have already lost the game. Nothing works. Integrity and status. You serve the status, and you serve with your total integrity, with utmost courage, you can call yourself human. Otherwise forget about it. No cleverness... chatari-aa, kaamani-aa. The clevernesses won't make you a woman, ever.

First understand you have a status of woman. And what is that status? What is your frequency? And what is your per second cycle proportion? RPM they call it. RPM, Rotation Per Minute. And then what is your frequency of horsepower and who you are? Acknowledge your status as a woman, then develop the integrity of a woman, and then have the courage to live it. Nobody can harm you and God will serve you, ladies. It is not that I am a great man or a happy man or this and that. Just it is a simple lunatic decision on my part. I am Siri Singh Sahib. These children have grown in the image of a holy man. I have got 9 holes, and if I die or live, I am not going to betray them. That's all. There's no guiding force more than this. And you've got to do it too.

It's not that you don't give me presents. You give me all the presents. The instructions are, they should be taken on the altar, because they don't come to me (though you give it to me, and I thank you too.) But I have to act... recognize the status. All presents come to a God's man. They don't come to a man. Therefore they must go on the altar where God is worshipped. And then they must then belong to tomorrow. Whatever comes today or is created today or is today, must belong to tomorrow. MUST!! This is also in your life.

Today of yours must belong to tomorrow, otherwise you have lost the game. There will be no tomorrow. You only think of today. You don't only think of today; you only think of lunch. (laughter) I know you. "Have a good time." Ha ha ha. "I had a good lunch." "What was it?" "Salad."

Today must belong to tomorrow. Yesterday must be allowed to go and die in grace. And you must have a status and your total integrity must serve the status with utmost courage. There's no other way of success and happiness. Rest is all trying to exploit you. If I say something different, it is unbelievable. Don't believe it.

Sometime, you know, my wife says, "What's going on? We were very happy when we were in India, we were officers, we had servants, we had a home, we had respectability in life, we had a PRIVATE life." She says so, and she is PhD in psychology, and I sent her to college. She is sitting right there. And I remember also, we used to have a beautiful private life. Now I have a telephone and they give it to me in the bathroom. "It is an urgent call," they say. "Stop what you are doing and attend to it." And she is longing from last so many years to sleep. Her telephone never stops. Now she will say right now, "What are you talking about?" I am telling her, that is the price she has to pay as Bibiji. And there's no other way. If she wants private life, then she should live private, and that status which has been bestowed on her will fall apart. But if she wants to live with that status, she's GOT to serve the status, with her integrity, with her courage, and she has to die with her boots on,
period. There's no other way.

I know she complains to me and I complain to her. We both complain to each other. And that's a good way to get it out. But also we know in the end we both laugh. You know why we laugh? There's no turning back. We've got to make it.

That day she was telling me, "God, I am going to go mad. I am going to go insane. I can't sleep." I said, "Don't come out of your room 'til 9 a.m." I played a psychological game. Now how can she be in that room 'til 9 a.m.? There's no way. And if you call, "Where is Siri Singh Sahib?" They say, "He has not come out of his dome." Oh yes, I am doomed in my dome. I can't come out, because every telephone call which I don't want even to attend is there. I just want not to answer every telephone call from the bathroom, that's all. And every night Nirinjan prints up this long paper and that's my homework. Who I am kidding? Myself? That's not a pain. That's not a tragedy. That's not adversity. That's an honor. That as a humble, simple, human being, I have been honored that there are thousands, and thousands, and thousands of people who could trust me. And my prayer is that God should keep the grace so that I may not end up doing something really weird. Yes. There are many slips
between the cup and lips. You should always be conscious.

What is conscious? Conscious is that there are many slips between the cup and the lips. When you are corrupt, just remember, along with it goes the institution. When, ladies, you are corrupt, you are having a good time, just think, along with it goes the woman itself... "I can turn myself to be a prostitute"... You must be really stupid.

I had a woman who still is alive in L.A.. She offered me three things. One, a big beautiful house you can't believe it (and at that time we never knew from where the breakfast will come, and sometimes we never had meals). She said to me, "I can give you this corporation; $18 million dollars cash fixed deposits, sole corporation, you can have it." That's on the basis of that, I made Siri Singh Sahib as a sole corporation to guard all the assets and the money for the future of the Dharma. And she said, "You can have that and this house and 280-S, car, Mercedes, right?" It used to be $7,000 new then. All I had to do was somebody to raise my hand from here and I had to put it over there, like that. That's all she needed.

I tried to convince her for hours, and hours, and hours, "I am a Mahan Tantric. I cannot initiate." And she wouldn't believe it. She said, "Dali Lama does it. Such and such swami did it." So I said, "Whole world does it. I am the only one on the planet who cannot initiate because I am the ONLY Mahan Tantric." She said, "Wrong." I said, "Right. You won't be initiated by me, doesn't matter what." Everybody around me counseled me, "Hey, just put your hand up and don't say anything. Look what she's giving." I said, "She can take it and shove it. It's a test and trial of a life and I am not going to betray the status which my dying Mahan Tantric bestowed on me. I do not know whether I deserve it or not, whether I have it or not, but I definitely know I shall not initiate anyone." Because everybody has to respect it as a creation of God, independent, sovereign, and complete in itself. And whosoever initiates himself to be at the lotus feet of the Mahan Tantric, should be taught. That's the law. I can't change it.

Somebody said, "What you can do?" I said, "I have enough dignity to give you the destiny." You can give everybody anything, but if you cannot give the soul its destiny, you have given nothing. Everything here is going to be here. Nothing is going to go. So what you have? Nothing. If you go to Acapulco and live in Princessa (one of the best hotels, right?) and they have everything... they have food, servants, rooms, everything, a huge building, ba ba ba ba ba... and if you can pay, you can live. But when you leave, does Princessa walk with you? Huh? Hey? (No) So what is that? Again back to the same bedroom with the broken spring? That's your good time?

Somebody asked me, "Why you go to Acapulco in the Princessa? That's the only thing you like in the world?" I said, "Because it has a pool, it has a waterfall, and I just stand under it for a couple of hours and everything is adjusted. Best a man can adjust himself. That's all." Have you gone to all these big five star hotels? What people do? They go on a holiday, pay $250 for the night. Watch this good time. $250 for the night, then they smoke, and then they drink, and they drink mixed drinks. And by the night they dress up and they go for a big dinner and a good time. In seven days they take all the money, spend it, come back more frustrated, more of a nervous wreck, and more terrible, but their ego gets inflated. "Oh, I had seven good days. I was having a holiday. I had a fun. I am relaxed." See them the 3rd day in their own house, yelling and screaming and falling apart. That's a good time? There's no good time without integrity, without courage, without serving the status.
And that highest status ever God has given to anyone is woman, woman, and the woman.

Prakirti contains the Purkha. Woman contains the man, and there's no higher status than this. And what I have done, ladies, to you? I have taught you one thing: Be Pure. Just remember one thing -- before purity, even God surrenders. Purity is reality, it is Infinity. These are the three aspects of life: Purity, Reality, and Infinity.

That is why we started a Khalsa Woman's Training Camp. We are trying to tell you what are the systems through which you can be a woman. Otherwise you want to be a glorified earthling. Thank you. Have fun. Earthling is not a woman. Rich and poor, glorified or not, you are just actresses. We are actor-men and actor-women.

You know, we set up a stage, we act wonderful, and inside we know we are totally eaten up and crazy. You understand? We can't come out of it. There's no need to sell yourself cheap. Whenever you sell yourself cheap, woman, you weep rest of your life. Never do it.

Somebody once asked me, "This man loves me so much. He really wants to marry me." I said, "What is the problem?" I said, "Ask him to send you his last five years income tax return." "Why? What's the big deal?" "Don't ask me. You want me to help you?" "Yes." "Ask him to send you a copy of his five years income tax return. That's all I'm asking." You know what the reply came? "I'll call you. Don't call me." I said, "Here goes your love. He is going to die for you, he loves you. Ba ba ba." I said, "Bogus! Thank God he didn't send five years tax return and then next thing I would have said was, deposit your cash, 50%, NOW." You say 'I love you and I want to marry you,' and that is different from 'I cannot live without you. I really dream of you. I have nightmares. I feel you in my bed. I feel you walking in my living room.' That kind of drama.

I said, "That kind of drama is to put the price on it." What they sellers who sell a ticket for a high price? What they call them? (Scalpers) I said, "Put the scalper price." If love is high, let the payment be that much. "If he walks in the living room, he's to see you walking in." Yesterday I was eating, you were serving me the food. I said, "Where were you?" She said, "I was here." I said, "Who was serving him?" They love to make stories. They want to trap the fairy. They do not know everybody's boat needs the oars and the muscles... the strength and the depth of the water. That's life. Don't fall apart. God gave you two ears. Listen from one and out from the other.

A man who will love you will never listen to you, and he will never agree with you. Sorry to tell you that. You might have met a man. His is the crazy world. A man in love neither will listen, nor will agree, nor will tolerate you talking. The only thing you hear from a man in love is, "Shut up. Don't waste my time. I have everything else to do. Please don't interfere. Don't be in my way. I'll kick you like a ball. I'll throw you out of the window. Get out of my life."

Do you know why? Man in life who is in love is busily trying to create something positive, BECAUSE he is in love! He has no time for your nonsense. And if he has time for nonsense, then you don't make any sense. And that is the relationship. If you want any other relationship, go out to a movie. It only exists in pictures, in movies, or in fairy tales. Man in love will never agree, and man not in love with you will agree to everything. And this is the basic faculty of a man in love. Because sun shines and moon reflects, and there's no other relationship in the heavens. Therefore what is not in the heavens cannot be created on the earth. Does sun shine with the permission from the moon? Whether moon is going to reflect or not? Is that so? And when sun comes, does he allow a moon to exist somewhere in a few days on the horizon? Right? Otherwise, forget it. And this is what is in the heavens. How can you create on the earth something different? Are you crazy? It's not possible. So we all play

We are really classified hookers, and we harp on each other in the name of love. Man who is a man and the integrity of a man and dignity of a man and who knows he is a man, first he will say to a woman, "What's wrong with you?" "Oh, I got da da da." "WHAT?" "Well, I want to talk to you." "What's the matter?" And you talk to him and after the whole thing he says, "That's it? You can take care of it." He'll be surprised why you first asked to talk to him, then why you took one hour to talk to him, and who the hell is he? You know what I mean? You understand? All he says is, "What? You couldn't handle this little thing?"

Or, you tell him: "You don't have time for me. You don't love me any more. You don't call me." and all that complaint. And you will hear one common word: "You are crazy." That's it. Love has set rules. Love is blind and love only belongs....three people belong together: lovers, philosophers, and lunatics. And love is nothing but a practically lunatic behavior.

Who loves who? I'll tell you who is in love. If love sees, hears, smells, feels, understands and advises, counsels or guides, it is not love. It is a projectile behavior of using each other for convenience. In simple English, we call it 'business'... to keep ourselves busy. If you have any other definition of love... I'll tell you the love! Love is an experience of one's self within one's self in which other person is totally engulfed... doesn't exist! So long you exist as a polarity, there's no love. Copper and nickel put together makes a brass. You heat them, you beat them, you burn them, they can never be copper, and nickel, again. Love has no question. Question has no love. Period.

Yes, we use and abuse each other. We make our life convenient. We help each other... little bit here, little bit there. And then we keep going and we call it 'love.' When corn is eaten, what's left in it? That white stuff? (Cob) Corn on the cob. And is the cob the corn, and corn the cob? You know? Corn is corn and cob is cob, though the corn cannot be without cob, is that true? Huh? And if you say cob is the corn, how many people will think you are wise? Huh? Exactly! Love is love and love is always love, and love is not a business and business is not a love, though people use love as business and business as love.

From day one we are trying to find what love is. And to the last day when this earth will shatter into pieces of sand, we'll keep on trying to find what love is. But those who experience love, they don't say things. First thing in love is: there's no pain. And that is what love of Guru Arjan was. They tortured him, they tortured him, they burned him, they did everything to him. There sat the Guru in peace and tranquility. Neither there was pain, nor there was shame, nor there was a question, nor there was an answer. He was all within all. That is love.

125,000 rupees... any bhagataa, any disciple could pay it. That was not much. An emperor wanted him to just say, "I'm sorry that I gave protection to your son and fed him. I never understood." He would have let him go. There were so many items on which they wanted to let him go. He said, "No. I did it... what my status wanted me to do. I did it with integrity, and you want to test my courage? Go ahead."

And it is in the "Song of the Khalsa." What is that line you sing? "Guru Arjan gave his life to stand for what was right. He was burned and tortured five long days and nights. He could have stopped it any time, just by giving in. His strength a solid wall, he never gave an inch at all. Sons of the Khalsa, remember those who died. Stood their ground until their last breath so we who live now might live free lives."

You understand it? And Guru Arjan Partakh Har. Guru Arjan the Personified God... not acknowledged by his disciple... but Miramir, the greatest known Sufi sage of the time (to which emperor bowed) he said: "Guru Arjan Partakh Har. You are personified God. What is happening? What is this? I can't see this torture." And Guru said, "Miramir, close your eyes and see with the 3rd eye, the eye which can see the unknown."

Spiritual teacher is not a person. Spiritual teacher every human needs because spiritual teacher is the 3rd eye of the 2 eyed man. It is an answering service to which you cannot know how much to pay. In the West people think spiritual teacher is just a joke, he lives off you. No! Spiritual teacher you can never pay. He never lives off you. You live off him. Your prosperity is based on what he said in a simple statement, not with arguments.

Here in the West is such a wonderful world. Here people want spiritual teachers to say exactly what the students want. I have never seen this tragedy anywhere. And I have never seen this tragedy that the spiritual students come to a spiritual teacher and tell him how to dance, tell him what to do. This is God bless America. This is the only one country where I had this experience.

If for all the goodness in me and all the tragedies I have done, if I go to hell, I have absolutely no complaint. It will be far better than this. Because in hell nobody is going to tell me what to do. I already know what hell is and it cannot be any worse than the United States. It is a hell. It is really a hell. Everybody lives in doubt, everybody lives in insecurity. Everybody is at each other's neck. Everybody wants everybody to do whatever they want. Nobody can compute for anybody. Are you a human? Neither you can compute for yourself your day, nor you can compute for anybody else their day. And you have a day.

What are you? Because we have never developed intuition. We can't see. We get a bunch of emotions, feelings, securities, insecurities, some images and some profiles and some imagination, and we put it together and cook it together and we call it wisdom. Oh, you idiots! That's never a wisdom.

Whenever there's a confrontation, your intuition will always give you the right answer. And in the West they call it 'little voice of the conscience.' It's called the mool, the root, of the human. It's the consciousness. It's always with you.

That day I was looking at somebody, I won't mention the name. And she took off her turban like this, saying, "Oh, God. Hell." It's not that taking off turban is not right. And it is all right. But what a load. What a heavy load, and what a bogus personality, and what an actress. You know what I thought? I said, "This stupid doesn't know how to self crown herself and then honor it. There's no integrity in it. It's all shallowness."

You know, in Siri Guru Granth there is a story: a king sat on a throne and he slept. And in his sleep he became a beggar. And he just woke up and he saw his wealth, but he couldn't forget the pain and experience of that poverty.

(Repeating the comment the woman above made in taking off her turban,) "Oh my God." So be it. It's a very conscious act to take off your turban in absolute pain and bogusity. That's what you are.

Things come out of you in three ways: in anger, in love, and in your tiredness. Majority of the things you mess up when you are tired. Your energy is weak, you have no defenses and you fall apart. You are supposed to have 21% of oxygen in your breath and you normally live on 15-16% of that, and you do not do pranayam or breath of fire. You are supposed to do it every 3 or 4 hours, just for a minute or two, to oxygenate your balance. So you don't have to do this: "Oh my God!"

Vitamin A and D and vitamin C and multi-mega-vitamin won't help, ladies. Breath of fire will. Breath of fire keeps the fire going. And you'll not be cold and deadly to yourself.

Three exercises: Sat Kriya, Swan Kriya, and Bundle Kriya (bundle roll they call it commonly), these are needed by you whether you like it or not. The day you don't do these three, don't call yourself that day 'woman.' You are not. And you need it 16 times more than a man. Sat Kriya will stimulate your chakras. It will balance your nervous balance. It'll keep the organs in a good supply of blood and health. Swan kriya will take care of your entire spine and your structural self and it will keep the gray matter and the fluid of the spine in balance. It is tapped, you can hear it, or you concentrate. And bundle kriya, you need it for your 3rd lung, the skin. You will become old, you will look wrinkled, and you will look ugly with all the creams of the world if you do not do bundle kriya. Did you hear what I said?

Did you hear what I said??? What??? First is: Sat Kriya. What that does? It stimulates the chakras, balances the nervous system, and supplies the blood to the inner organs of the body. Right? Correct?

Then comes the swan kriya. What it does? Can somebody... one speak? You all speak three languages. What is swan kriya. Hey you! You physicist! It takes care of the spine adjustment, and the discs, and the vertebras. It does not let the 3rd vertebrae shrink at the old age. It does not let the 8th vertebrae go in adjustment so that you have headaches rest of your life, and it also adjusts the gray matter and the fluid in the spine in balance. What else? And it stretches every part of the body, inside, outside, complete. And also it helps you and keeps you away from all digestive problems. Can you do swan kriya? (Someone demonstrates.) Go forward more. Now where are your feet. Now put them back. I know. I can tell right from your doing. No, no, now you come forward. Ok, you go off. I think you have taken food. You have most flexible body. Sit on your heels, good. That's all right. (Someone else demonstrates.) Thank you.

This is, you might have seen in the water pots, the swans doing this. They live very long. They have a long neck and they trail it out.

And bundle kriya you know? That everybody knows. When, ladies, you are in a terrible shape (and sometimes you are because you have messed up one thing or another) in hatha yoga there is a kriya called 'vapreet karni kriya.' And Ram Das Kaur, come here. Well, she is all right. Oh, it doesn't matter what happens to you, I know. Shoulder stand. That's what I said. You will do it gracefully. Everybody else will like to show off their stuff. Okay. Fine. And go 60 degree with your feet forward. Little. Stop. (She demonstrates.) This is 'vapreet karni kriya.' It removes all female diseases in a female. You understand this? Good, thank you.

Hey, do the bundle kriya. Flat it out. Yeah. She does it very well. Thank you, thank you. Enough.

Sat Kriya, some people do not know Sat Kriya, also. (Someone demonstrates.) Okay? Got it?

.....And you can do vapreet karni kriya on weekly basis. Even that will help. Understand?

So tomorrow we are going to all be great women? Don't build around you the great wall of China. Build around you the great aura and do not try to be rich in the material world. A woman who does not have her radiant body reflected is a dead woman for all purposes. We'll talk about it tomorrow, okay?

Now I have something else to do. There's a new tape. Can you play that? Nirinjan's new tape made in Hari? Sit in Sat Kriya posture. (Tape is played. Everyone sings.) Louder, louder! Come on, come on, sit! Sing it! "I Know Thou, Thee." Sing, sing, sing, loud. Blow up the tent. Stretch up, stretch up, stretch up. Come on, up, stretch UP! Stretch up, stretch up, stretch up. Look at me. Stretch up, like me.

Have fun. Thank you for the best of the night. Try to understand, life is a chance and God bestowed on you the chance to be a woman. I'm not doing anything except explaining to you how easy it is to be a woman and what it takes, in case you have forgotten. I hope you will understand the communication and try to invoke in you an initiation in your own self to become the grace, in reality, in activity, and in projection. Just it takes one thought to make a promise to yourself: "I am a woman and that's the way God made me to be and that's the way I'm going to be." It doesn't take two things.

When I was made Siri Singh Sahib I never knew what a Siri Singh Sahib is. I didn't know what it takes to be a Siri Singh Sahib. I did not know what comes with it. But when I realized, that is what a Siri Singh Sahib is going to be, then I looked to the heavens. But I knew there is no other way.

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Above Article Copyright Yogi Bhajan 2002. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED.

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