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Summary of Question:	Why Does My Mother Hate Me??
Category:	Other
Date Posted:	Saturday, 10/09/2004 10:22 AM MDT

vaheguru ji ka khalsa vahegur ji ki fateh

im 19 yrs old and i dnt no y bt ma mother hates me. U mite think im jus sayin this but ive put up with her 4 19 yrs now and it jus seems she has no love 4me. i try soo hard 2b nice 2 her, 2 make her lik me bt after yrs of tryin i dnt tink dats gna happen....i jus dnt no wt 2do cos she says tings 2me dat rely get 2me..lik for example at 1 tym she wished i ws ded and so i tried to kill maself but it dint wrk and wen she found out she wsnt bothered about me, more about wt social services wud hav dun 2 her if i had died. i cnt win with her

i accept that she aint gna change but wt can i do 2 stop her 4rm gettin 2me, hurtin me soooo bad cos i have to live with her.

thankyou for ur tym

vaheguru ji ka khalsa vaheguru ji ki fateh

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reply
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Sat Siri Akaal. In the future, please use clear english, your post is difficult to read. Thanks.
I am very sorry to hear of this situation with your mother. I think that the BEST thing you could do is find another place to live. It seems that indeed you can't win. So accept that you cannot change her heart. As painful as that is, it will free you. Give up trying to change her and let her go.

DON'T TAKE YOUR LIFE. That is not the answer. You are 19. Find a friend or relative to live with. If you are in school, go to a school counselor and say that you cannot live at home, or go to social services and insist on help getting set up outside of the home. Get help finding a job or a scholarship for higher education. You are of age to leave home. You are going to have to be creative about it but don't get on the wrong side of the law. I cannot tell where you live from your post, but in UK and north America, there are places you can go for help. You only damage yourself further to stay. Do not decide that you 'have to live there' because you don't, you just THINK you do. I don't know if you are female or not but that still is no excuse to stay there. If you can't change the people around you, then change the people around you. Get it? Change your living situation. Pray daily for Guru's guidance and practice naam simran to keep your mind in balance. Guru rakha,
-DKK