Previous

Next

Ask a Question

Summary of Question:	Burden
Category:	Other
Date Posted:	Monday, 2/14/2005 9:57 AM MST

I've grew up being called a burden and a mistake to be born. This is affecting my life. I've tried doing Paath everyday but i just cant seem to do it because i keep on thinking about my past. I've been thru rough times, i've tried killing my self. I have also tried to keep my self busy in college and working full time but at times i think why am i doing this when i dont have no one to support me or at least some one telling me what i'm doing is fine. I strive for the best but always happen to fail. I know GURU JI is testing me but how much more does He still have to test me. I've had problems trusting people, when good things come my way, i think i dont deserve them and push them away. I love my parents alot but my mother tells me i'm a burden and should be married off but i dont want to be married and but burden on someone else. I always could tell that my mother loved my sibilings more than me. Is there something i can do tell forget my past and move on wiht my life. i know i cant change my past but i could move on. I want my parents to be happy with me, including being proud of me. I also want to prove to them that i'm not a burden or mistake to be born.

P.S. You guys are doing a great job, keep it up. Thanks alot

(REPLY) Sat Nam. How cruel to be told that you are a burden! I'm so sorry to hear this. All I can say is that you must be a very strong, and a very special divine soul to have to go through this mental torture! One of the hardest lessons in life is to value and honor ourselves NO MATTER WHAT ANYONE ELSE TELLS US! And that includes even your mother, I'm sorry to say. Just remember that God put you here on Earth, breathes in you, gave you a physical body and a mind and emotions to experience His creation and hopefully make it a better place for your having lived and breathed on it. You have a right to be happy, yes you do! One of the keys to being happy, is to forget about yourself (and quite worrying about what your parents or anybody else thinks) and find some way to serve others. Study something in school that will prepare you for a career that enables you to serve others and help others. Marrying is not a bad thing, if you can make life happy for your husband and your children! You would know to always encourage your children, and make them feel good about themselves, because you know how bad it feels to be constantly "put down." I don't know why your mother is so mean, but that is her problem, it is her karma. Please pray for her, and bless her, and send her love in your prayers, but don't "cater" to her. You are a valuable human being, remember always, ANG SANG WAHE GURU is true! God is in every cell, every molecule, every atom of your being. You must honor that. Can you read Gurumukhi? I hope you do. Especially the recitation of Jaap Sahib, by Guru Gobind Singh is excellent for building self-esteem. But even in English, it is really valuable. Don't let anyone make you fell bad about yourself! Actually a very wise woman, Eleanor Roosevelt, said that no one can make you feel bad about yourself, unless you permit them to do it! She was an unattractive woman physically, she had an unpleasant raspy voice, but she did wonderful work for America and for its people, because she cared about other people. You can do the same. May God and Guru bless you to experience the beautiful soul within you, and live in joy and happiness. SP