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Summary of Question:	Help!! Can I Marry A Guy Whose Mom Has The Same Surname As Me?
Category:	Love & Marriage
Date Posted:	Friday, 10/22/2004 5:28 PM MDT

Sat shri akaal! I hav a dilemma and was wonderin if sum1 could help me out. I have liked a guy for sumtym now. He is very respectable and mature and we are very gud friends. However, i do not know if our friendship could turn in2 a relationship and ultimately lead to marrige. This is because of the fact that his mom had the same maiden name as i hav and is from the same pindh as me back in india. Doz this mean that we are related? I hav herd that it is wrong to marry within the same surname even tho i will not directly have that surname. so i feel really bad about these feelings that I have. Can sum1 please tell me if what i hav heard is correct n what i shud do about it.

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REPLY
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Sat Siri Akaal. It is important to find out if you are related, and to what degree. The problem with marrying someone who you are related to genetically is that it can cause birth defects in your children. If you are only distantly related (for example, a third cousin) then you are probably OK. If you are closely related, such as cousins, then it is not recommended. So, you are going to have to do research, which means each of you asking your parents about pindh, and who knew who and who married who, etc. Guru ang sang,
-DKK