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Summary of Question:	To Love Is A Gift
Category:	Love & Marriage
Date Posted:	Friday, 2/04/2005 4:30 AM MST

Sat Siri Aakal

I feel so broken hearted and confused. I am a Sikh lady but I can't seem to find love. Having an arranged marriage is not an option for me, my parents encourage me to find my own partner, neither is it an avenue I would like to explore, but I feel I have so much love to give a partner .

Why does God belive that I shouldn't find love - what can I learm from this. I believe love is the greatest gift that I could ever give another. It is tearing me apart that I can't find anyone to love. Everytime I get close to someone there is always some factor that stops me from having a relationship with them. I try to be dignified as possible, but I believe there is something wrong with me and that it is my destiny to be lonely and suffer heart ache. Please can you give me some advice.

(REPLY) Sat Nam. Yes, love is a gift, and gifts are to be given -- without thought of what you get in return. Instead of looking for a husband to love, how about finding orphan children, or elderly people, or some worthwhile charitable cause where you can volunteer your services. First of all, by Giving, you will open yourself up to receive. Second of all, you may meet someone who shares similar interests. Please do not think that marriage is the solution to being happy! There are so many cases of people who are "in love" and marry, and then it goes sour! Turn your love into devotion to God and Guru, do seva at the Gurdwara, recite your banis and put your heart into it. Shabd Hazaray is especially recommended as the greatest love poem ever written, its power is that you will never be separated from the Guru, or from your beloved. Basically, happiness comes from within -- not from other people. We need to contact our own soul, because the true nature of the soul is joy! The feelings of lonliness are "feelings" -- they are emotions -- they are not YOU! A wise teacher once told me, "If you want to be happy, forget about yourself, and serve others." Remember, we have come to go -- make each day valuable and try to live as if it were your last day on Earth -- being kind and thoughtful to others. The Rehit Marayada, our Sikh Code of Conduct means literally, "constant remembrance of death." For only by the grace of God do we receive our next inhalation. Life is a gift, use it wisely to make the world a better place for your having lived and breathed here, and I guarantee you will be happy. Blessings, SP