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Summary of Question:	Lost My Best Freind
Category:	Other
Date Posted:	Monday, 1/17/2005 3:24 PM MST

Hi,

I am writing to you because i am caught up in this situation which keeps playing my head over and over again and i totally drives me so insaine. Basically wat happened to me is that i used to bst freinds with this girl and i am a guy. Everything was ok and our parents were fine with us meeting up with each other and going to each others house some times. But then what happened is that this girl found a boy freind and at first we were fine with each other and then all of a sudden her boy freind turned and said to her that she is no allowed to talk to me and since then she has never called or we have not seen each other. We got to say our lst good bye's and she has been going out with this guy for two years now and it has been about a year since we last talked now. She said to me that she cannot even talk to me behind his back because tat would make her feel guilty and at the end of it all i lost my best freind for doing absolutley nothing wrong. Upto this date i have not found anyone to replace her because everything was so great between us and we have lost each others numbers, what should i do?

(REPLY) Sat Nam. As we grow up, some relationships change, and some remain the same. It is too bad that you cannot continue to be friends with this girl, but she has moved into the "Boyfriend" type of relationship, and therefore, the kind of friendship you used to have, she cannot any longer maintain with you. I agree, you have done nothing wrong, but obviously she has reached the point where she's thinking about marriage, and you don't fit into that picture. After two years, you need to just move on with your life, and concentrate on becoming the best, most successful, accomplished, kindest person you can be. Get a perspective on life, so you can understand that as desirable and enjoyable as friendships can be, they are not the purpose of life, and what we all need to focus on is making friends with our Guru. Seriously, do you read your banis? Try to understand what Guru Nanak (and all the other Gurus) taught, so that you do not waste your time and energy feeling bad about the past. Move on. And be such a radiant, wonderful person, that others will want to become your friend! Don't look for what anyone can give to you, but look for what you can give others. A True Sikh lives to serve. Believe me, true happiness only comes when we become Givers. I wish you well. Blessings, SP