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Summary of Question:	Re To Ama & All
Category:	Love & Marriage
Date Posted:	Tuesday, 8/02/2005 4:38 PM MDT

WJKK

WJKF

This is in response to the person who wrote to me abt my personl experience which I shared across the board. Hope moderators will publish this-

Dear Friend,

I was of the same opinion or even more stronger than you are before it happened in our family. I knew families who married their daughters off to non-sikhs before my sister's episode and we used to protest by boycotting those families. Anyways, I was too young and im mature at that time plus I used to think that my family and my sister would be immune to such things. This assumption of ours cost our family dear. I guess this is the first and most important mistake we sikh parents make that blindly trust our sisters and daughters feeling that they will never fall in love.

As I mentioned that our 2 years were in turmoil and each day was a living hell. She went into serious depression and psychiatrists warned us that she may commit suicide. Seeing my little sister suffer like this was taking its toll on me and my parents. She was pescribed various medicines for depression but they had serious side effects. Now we had 2 options

1. Throw her out of the house.
2. Let her die in the way she was dying.

So in the end we took option 1 but in a dignified manner, we just let her go because there was nothing much we could have done at that time.

This episode made me and my family realize our mistake and we took our religion more seriously than for granted. We try to give a similar advice to those who have girls of college going age, some people agree, some dont. Anyways, I have seen people whose daughters marry on their own saying "aaj kal sab chalda hai" which is even more dangerous. Anyways, guruji, we and my sister know what went wrong and hope that my generation atleast would be proud sikhs just like our Guru's and ancestors and Im leaving no stone unturned for it.

I know at present my advice to Sonia wont have any effect but it would only be a matter of time before she realizes her mistake because its a well known fact that 2 people of different religions cannot live together without disputes and if they happen to be husband and wife it leads to conversion of one....mostly the wife.