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Summary of Question:	Peace/Being Sad - What Prayers Can I Recite During The Day?
Category:	Love & Marriage
Date Posted:	Wednesday, 6/08/2005 7:27 AM MDT

Hello,

I have done an extensive search using key words such as "peace" "happiness" "prayers" and such.

I would like some advice to go in the right direction.

I have just split from my partner, a very intense relationship. I have no idea why it ended but I have accepted that it has. From what I read on Sikhnet, it was Gods will that we met and Gods will that we are now no longer together. The relationship was pure, clean, full of emotion, so the question why it ended bothers me alot, but I can not go on like this forever- my family are suffering as well as me, even though they do not know.

Two questions -

First, when I have this feeling of thinking about my partner, I want to pray instead. It eats me. Two nights ago, I downloaded the Shabd Hazaray onto my PDA in English and I read it, trying to make sense of it. I read somewhere on the site that there is no point in reading a Shabd without understanding it. I read a few lines at a time - not much, I know, but then I spend time trying to understand it. Is it acceptable to leave a Shabd without reading it fully?

Second, I know that this person has done a few things wrong. I want to pray for him, to make sure he is happy and does not do any bad deeds. I want to be friends with him and without pestering him, I want to do something so he understands that I am still here.

The point is, I think he feels guilty, as he knows that I know he has done something wrong.

I want to find peace, forget the romantic love for him and find something else to connect with him - and him with me.

Thanks,

Sat sri akaal..

---reply

First of all, it is perfectly fine to take a shabd line by line...not reading the whole thing at once. Yes, learn what it means and meditate on what it means to you and your life.

Second, did you and your boyfriend discuss why the split? It may be good to have some kind of closure to the relationship. During that discussion, you can also discuss your relationship from here. Is he interested in a friendship? Would a friendship be possible for you? Would that be torturing you and prolonging your grief over the split. Perhaps it is better to just leave him behind and go on with your life. As long as you are holding on to him that won't be possible. We women do this all the time. We hold on to a man, basing our identity and value in their love and acceptance. Work on your self. Become who you are and then allow the right person to be attracted to your radiance. Don't ever be needy. That drives a man away so fast. Be strong and confident and beautiful from within. Be the Guru's daughter, dear sister, GTKK