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Summary of Question:	Pursue At All Costs?
Category:	Love & Marriage
Date Posted:	Friday, 12/12/2003 4:05 PM MST

First let me apologise for reiterating a question asked countless times in the archive but I would prefer an answer directed specifically for my dilemma

My problem is that the girl whom I ‘love’ is Christian, I put ‘love’ in inverted commas as I know you will question what love is. However many Sikh preachers often comment about inner peace- this love brings me inner peace. The problem is not in fact her religion but the fact that in pursuing her I will almost certainly cause a rift with my parents. I acknowledge all the potential barriers i.e. the faith of future children, but at this point in time my mind is set on this one girl, who brings out the best in me. What do I do? Do I pursue this girl at all costs?

(REPLY) Sat Nam. Well, obviously, you have already calculated some of the "costs" of pursuing this girl. But, I doubt if you really know what the entire ramifications of a marriage with a Christian may bring. Is she religious? What about your future children? What about your social interaction with community. Anyway, you want someone to tell you what to do, and no one can do that, because you are going to do what your "mind" is set on doing. I think you're just trying to get someone to give you permission to do something that part of you knows is not going to be in your best interests.
If you were sure it was the right thing, you would not have to ask the question. I don't know how old you are, I don't know what you mean by "pursue" -- perhaps she and her family may reject you! So, please, spend some time meditating and asking for Guru's guidance, so that you get beyond your emotions and your MIND. We are born to fulfill the purpose of our SOUL, and that is something that each one must find for himself. And that is why we are blessed to have our Shabd Guru, so that we can clear our subconscious minds and tune in to God's will. Are you reading banis? Are you reading from Siri Guru Granth Sahib? Purpose of life is to experience God within, purpose is not to get married, etc. etc. Those outer things hopefully are wonderful, enjoyable, peaceful (!) and happy, but they are not the ultimate purpose for which we were born. Again, I hope you will pray for guidance for what is BEST for you. SP