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Summary of Question:	Need Advice On Relationships And Attacments To Thoughts That Arent Helpful
Category:	Love & Marriage
Date Posted:	Thursday, 8/09/2007 7:34 AM MDT

Hi I’m a Singh in his mid twenties (i.e. have turban and beard) I’ve never had a girlfriend and never even kissed etc ….when I was younger I lived in the hope I would eventually find someone but now that I’m getting older I’ve realised that no woman has ever shown any interest in me and I keep thinking that no one will ever want me and that there is something wrong with me. It’s just that not even a religious Sikh woman has ever been interested in me. Don’t get me wrong I’m not one of those singhs who harasses women or anything like that I just thought that it would happen in its own time BUT it hasn’t. From what I see Sikh women want trim singhs and the rest want clean shaven guys and I don’t think I can compete with them because I have a beard and turban. I’m what people would call a good guy but all the women I see all they go for is the bad boy types even Sikh girls go for Singhs (who have beards and turbans) who treat them badly and then complain why they can’t find good singhs………….so should I change and become one someone who a women might possibly want to be with or stay the way I am someone who doesn’t drink, smoke, eat meat and keeps his hair and beard?????????

(sikhnet could you answer this as quicky as possible as i am really lost and dont know what to do)

(REPLY) Sat Nam. God bless you! It would be a tragedy, and a betrayal of your soul if you "changed" from being the GurSikh that you are! Realize that when/if you are destined to marry -- it will happen -- and if not, then the wise thing to do is find ways to serve humanity and relate to the Siri Guru Granth Sahib. We all want to be happy, and people often think that "love and marriage" will make them happy. That is not always the case. True, lasting happiness comes to those who connect with their own souls --- Are you reading your banis every day? Especially ANAND SAHIB -- the Song of Bliss can give you comfort and inspiration! I know it seems unfair and painful when you feel alone and even rejected, but please, please know that there is a better, higher destiny in your future. Read from the Siri Guru Granth Sahib as often as you can -- perhaps a Sahej Path. (You can even read on-line on the SikhNet website) The Guru will give you the perspective on life that is based on reality, and the wisdom of souls who experienced God. May God and Guru bless you and guide you always. SP (Oh, I just remembered, I believe SikhNet has a Matrimonial section, you might want to explore?)