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Summary of Question:Respect Of Parents Who Are Against Sikhi
Category:General Sikhism
Date Posted:Tuesday, 8/26/2008 11:39 PM MDT


I am 18 year old guy.I had great interest in Sikhi from my childhood.I dont know why.But my parents are strictly against Sikhi or any other religion.My father is a Sikh just by turban.He is a complete rationalist or Non believer of God.He just agrees in His presence but calls this Gurmat Theory as 'pigeon head', 'moorkhaan vaali' theory.He makes fun of these Sikh Principles and even Gurbani.When I say I am going to read Bani sometimes he says very roughly about it.My younger brother is also moving on same track and a taunter.
Same case of my mother but she is religious to a little extent[just do Sukhmani Sahib Paath].But not worried about Sikhi etc.

But still they are good persons by heart.They do not do illegal work,respect elders etc.They are also known for their honesty but also for their non beliving in God.

Problem is only because they dont beleive in these type of things.Problem is NOT that they think "He[I] will face problems in future because of turban,leave studies,them and become a saint etc."

Whenever they say something against Sikhi as usually they say or taunt[Nihang,Baba etc] my blood starts boiling and this leads to conflict.I am also against those who had cut thier Kesh and they blame me.Everyone blames me that he does not respects his parents."Jinna pakka eh Sant banda hai una eh moorakh hai".My other relatives are also against[execpt a few] Sikhi.From inside I dont like them as they talk much against Sikhi.But at the same time Gurbani suggests to respect parents and serve them till their end.Bhai Gurdass Ji writes "If you do not serve your parents then read as many Granths as possible no advantage."

What should I do?Respect parents and leave Sikhi or Become a Sikh and leave them if conflicted.I worry when I will be Amritdhari in future[marriage,children] several conflicts will lead to our division.Because in future even now great conflicts are being taking place.

What should I do?Should I give respect to those parents and family who are honest but strictly againts God,Sikhi?I tried to explain them a lot and lot But no success even more depress.

What should I do?

Will be very grateful

Amanpreet Singh

Sat nam. It's your life to live, not your family's. And that is exactly what to say to them.
They feel threatened that someone born into a supposedly Sikh family is actually a believer and wants to live as a Sikh fully. You must live according to your heart and the call of Guru. Remember that in Gurbani, the one who practices the Naam saves his family/ancestors as well (Mannai pavai mokh du-ar, mannai pavarai sadhaar...). You cannot live a lie. If your heart is with Guru, to ignore that would be a lie! It's not the life you live, it's the courage you bring to it.

That said, there is no reason to create and extend the arguments. Of course it is offensive when they disrespect Gurubani! But Guru does not need you to defend Him, and Guru will protect you, as well, from slanderers, so long as you leave it to Guru.
Don't ENGAGE the argument or conversation. Be silent, chant ekongkaar satgurprasaad-satgurprasaad ekongkaar 5 times silently and change the subject or leave the room. Find friends and colleagues in your gurdwara community who you can practice Sikhi with and do so often, perhaps, outside of the home rather than inside the home. Guru is testing you. At 18, you are old enough to be making this life choice. Guru ang sang,

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