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Summary of Question:	Re: Sad Sister
Category:	Love & Marriage
Date Posted:	Friday, 3/17/2006 1:29 PM MDT

What this guy is doing to your sister is completely wrong, however from the experience of being in a relationship with a guy I truly loved, "getting over it" is easier sad than done. Instead of blaming her for not being strong enough to get over the problem, or stating it's a personal choice of diving into the pain on her part, maybe you should focus on lifting up her spirits. Do things with her that make her feel important as a person. Surround her with friends and family so that she knows she has people other than him who love her. She is still going after this guy because she feels that he is needed in her life for her to feel complete and special. As a sister you need to help her realize she already is, not by focusing on the him or the problem itself, but just solely on her. She might feel like she is to blame for the breakup and that she needs to change something in order to make things right again. Insulting him, or the situation is only going to cause her to think of its importance in her life. As a sister, you need to be a friend and not a parent. If she so desires, take out the hours it may take for her to express her feelings and help her analyze them when she's ready.

My heart is in pain just imagining what sort of pain your sister must be going through because it is all too familiar. Not everyone is at this elevated state where emotional attachment does not affect them, I certainly am not (I respect and admire those who are though). Why does she think it's the end of the world if he's not in her life? Probably because she feels like there's nothing greater in her life to strive for...point out the things she has going for her and where her focus should be because she's really talented in that aspect or something. Do anything but feel sorry for her, she feels that way enough about herself. I realize I have made a lot of prior judgements about her emotions, just merely guessing, forgive me if I have said anything wrong. I think it's wonderful that you care about your sister and I wish you and her the best. My prayers are with the two of you.