Previous

Next

Ask a Question

Summary of Question:	Please Help...
Category:	Other
Date Posted:	Friday, 11/17/2006 3:21 PM MST

sat sri akal,

please do answer my question because you are my only source of hope at this time. I anxiously await you response. I have asked this numerous times before but no one is responding to any of my questions. Please please help me.

this is my situation:

I was denied admissions into a professional school last year. I accepted it. I know that there was some good to what had happened. I have kept my faith in waheguru. I know that he is testing me and I am not going to fail. However, I still have some sort of "fear" in me about re-applying this year. What if I don’t get in? What will I say to my parents? What will my future be like? And most importantly, what will I say to the society??? These things are really getting on my nerves. I dont know what to do.

I have always tried my best in school, but I NEVER have felt, throughout my whole life in school, that I have performed to my ability and never feel satisfied. No matter how much I try, I get nothing out of it. All my life consists of and has consisted of is school. That’s it. No partying, no work (as in a job), no social life….simply school to home and study while home. Ok…I do waste time eating and spending some time with family, but that’s it. I have always studied and tried hard, but I never do well enough. Never. There is always someone out there who does better even though they have so much going on (job, social life, etc). WHY? Why can’t I be smart? I really break down because despite the effort I put in, I never get anywhere. I always lose. Teachers, parents, friends, etc have always told me…oh, you’re a smart girl, you’ll do great…I guarantee you will be fine…blah blah blah. People have this image of me….very studious, smart, “good girl” etc. What do I do when I am looked upon as this and in reality, I am not smart and do always fail? I just feel like I really don’t deserve all of this loss. I just have worked too hard and I do deserve to be treated better. I have failed so many times that right now, I am also just starting to lose the motivation and don’t see any point in trying hard….yet I have my parents and the whole Indian community always bugging me about how I am doing in school etc. For some reason, they are failing to realize that their daughter is not a “genius” like everyone else is. I am trying…I am working hard…I realize my responsibilities, my goals, and AM worried what others will say about me and my parents. I realize that its going to be a long road getting from where I am to what I want to be. But my parents and the rest of the world around me don’t and I don’t know if they will accept it. I know that people are better than me…but that’s what God gave them…that gift of knowledge. I unfortunately don’t have it and everyone is expecting so much out of me. I mean…I do the best with what I have (brain capacity, I guess) but it is by no means acceptable to anyone. So my question is….what do I do? I am so stressed. God knows where I am going to end up in life. I am drifting from waheguru amidst this chaos. I never have anything around me to tell me that everything will be okay. I don’t have the time to go to the gurdwara every weekend. I don’t anywhere to go for encouragement except my closet. I just cry and cry and that’s it. Nobody really knows what kind of stress I am facing. School is difficult for me, and nobody knows this. Yet I have goals that everyone, including myself, wants me to achieve. I just want to succeed…is that asking too much? Why is life like this? Why do the people who try the hardest and never do anything bad have to be the ones that are empty handed? Please tell me what to do….as I said, I have no one to talk to except my parents who always think that the next time I apply, I will get in (because the last time I applied, I didn’t take enough classes, wasn’t prepared enough). What happens if I don’t get in? How will they react? I am soooo scared about the reaction from my father. I just don’t know what to do, how to do what I need to do. Please suggest some words of encouragement.

So as I have explained, I am really tense right now since my only goal is to get into this professional school. Are there any padth I can do right now to help myself do better on a standardized test or to do better in school in general? I really really really really have to get in this year! I cant afford to not get in. I just wont be able to take the loss. Please please advice me. What should I do spiritually to elevate my spirit, to help me think positive, and to help me succeed in what I want to do? Is there any practical advice you would like to give?

And right now, I just dont have that connection w/ waheguru anymore. I am lost. I just cant seem to connect with Him. Please help me. I need to get back on track. Please, please... shed some light...

Thank you.

P.S.
I know this a lengthy question, but I really will appreciate any help you can provide. I have emailed you before, but no one replied. Please, this is a very serious and important matter for me. Thank you in advance for your time and help.

<<<<< REPLY >>>>>

Greetings in the Name of Akal, the True One in every one....

Wow! You have put yourself under so much pressure. That is no way to live. It is time for you to take a big deep breath and re-focus. You do not need to perform for your parents so they can put up a picture of you in cap and gown on their living room wall and point to it saying "look at our smart daughter!" You belong to you. You belong to Wahe Guru! You do not belong to your parents. You have to slow down and sort out the priorities of the relationships in your life. You love your parents and that will always be so. But everything comes from God and everything goes to God. You must make your sadhana the foundation of your life. It is not "going through the motions" by going to Gurdwara whilst your thoughts are elsewhere that will bring you happiness. It must start very personally - within you. You must meditate each day... breathe deeply and bring your mind under control. First you control your breath - then your mind will calm down - then your emotions and anxiety will calm down. It begins with the breath. Just start. Go sit under a tree and close your eyes. Make your spine straight. Inhale slowly and deeply and say the Mool Mantra to yourself silently during the inhale. Then hold your breath in and repeat the Mool Mantra three times silently whilst holding your breath. Then exhale slowly and repeat the Mool Mantra silently one more time so that you are mentally saying "...hosee bee sach" just as your exhale finishes. Do this for eleven minutes every day. Then begin reading your banis again. Anchor yourself. Don't pressure yourself. Begin with just Japji if you like, then add Kirtan Sohila at bed time, then add Rehiras at dusk, and continue adding them back into your day untill they are all there. Build yourself back up slowly. It does not depend on anyone else or what anyone else does or does not do. It is all within YOU. Look within yourself for the Guru and let the Guru speak to you.

Now is the time.

All love in Divine, .....G