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Summary of Question:	Confidence
Category:	Love & Marriage
Date Posted:	Thursday, 6/23/2005 4:51 AM MDT

well im 21 years old from east london, never had a girlfriend or have even kissed, i keep getting rejected becuase of the way i look, namely the turban and trimmed beard, i keep on feeling very depressed and feel that this situation will never change. so about about a year ago i decided to change this situation e.g. losing 6 stone, getting toned, changing my wardrobe etc and i wanted to know was whether people could give me advise on aproaching sikh girls or how i could attract the attention of sikh girls because ive only ever been interested in sikh girls and not any others as i think they are more attractive than non sikh girls. the problem is that in my experience sikh girls only want to be with clean shaven guys and i feel that im in a cath 22 situation,i mean the partying type of sikh girls are not interested in turbanned singhs no matter what they look like and the religious minded girls dont want to go out with anyone period, well not with an ugly guy like me. the main thing is that i want to change my life for the better an its hard for me to do this because everbody my whole life has always commented on my looks an told me im ugly e.g. after my cousins wedding my mother told me i was the fattest and ugliest guy at the wedding(which prompted me to lose my weight, at college my friends used to make fun the way i looked and when i walk down the street girls/women laugh when they walk past and when i get into an argument with my brother he comments on how ugly my face is. now that i am losing all my wieght and trying to improve my apearance people think i am losing weight because im sick, i trim my beard because im a fake sikh etc and its all getting to me. i need advice on how to build my confidence when most if not all the time i am being told these comments like the ones above. i starting to get worried that my depression will lead me to do something stupid, not suicide, but something else like turnig to alcohol/drugs to escape reality and my thoughts are constantly occupied with me telling myself im ugly and no one will ever love/like me. so could anyone help me?

---reply

I would go find a good counselor, who can mentor you through this time, who can help you do things to build your confidence. There may be books you could read. Go to google and search for "book - self-confidence". Loosing weight is good. But also, exercise. Join a gym, get a personal trainer and get in shape and healthy. That will help you confidence. Good luck, Blessings. GTKK