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Summary of Question:	Telling My Parents That I Want To Marry My Boyfriend From A Different Caste
Category:	Love & Marriage
Date Posted:	Thursday, 4/23/2009 1:39 PM MDT

Straight to the point I met my boyfriend 5 months ago and when we met we both had it in our minds, as were both 25 we want to be with someone who wants to get married without all the long term dating. We are now in love and 110% sure we are right for each other.

I am a Sikh jatt girl and he is a Sikh Kamboh boy and we live in the same town. His family is very respectable and he is very loyal and will be an excellent caring husband.

The issue is my mum is very stricked, her mind set is stuck back in Indian were all the caste systems are in place, and I can only marry a Jatt and no one else. She care too much about what the family is going to say, and she don’t think how I feel and what I want.

There is no different between jatts and kambohs, we go to the same gudwara, same god, same wedding styles, eat the same types of food and live the same.

How do I tell my mum…? I know when I tell her she will say no and will not talk to me for while and she will expect me to move on and forget about him, but what can I do to make her change her views and accept my decision.

I want to tell her soon so as im not getting any younger and she is not been looking for a husband for me as she dose not want to let me go.

Help!
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reply
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My dear, All sounds wonderful. Your mother does want you to marry.
You must relax your concern about her being judgemental. Meditate and pray to Guru for guidence and especially for confidence.
Make a special time to talk to your Mom and share your plans with her. Be very clear with her as you are here in your letter. Then make a tea to invite your friend/fiance over to meet your family...or have his family come over together. You may be very surprised that she is happy that this is happening and will give you her full support.

If she does not support you, then know you are doing all gracefully and with best interest for all...and eventually it will work out. Sometimes people just need time to see the wisdom of your choice.

Blessings to you,
SK