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Summary of Question:	Get Over
Category:	Love & Marriage
Date Posted:	Wednesday, 3/23/2005 9:05 PM MDT

sat sri akaal

before i ask u question ,,i really appriate the efforts moderators are putting
in to help youths. You people are doing a comendatable job.
well here is my story ..,its kindda weird,..even i know but its really eating
me...just cannot get over that.
alright here is what happend
well abt 6 months back i met this gal on internet. well it was really funny how
we met ...and we started talking. it was just a causal talk and theh we used to
talk like everday and we became frinds. it seemed really nice, well she still
is. she told that she had a boyfriend but he got married but she still sees him.
i t old him that its wrong to be with a marrried man and said that she will
leave him. well i was fine afetr that cuz she said she will leave him. well as
we used to talk we stared liking eachother. well atleast si really fell in love
with her and she said she loves me as well. i know this soundz wierd. she seemed
so perfect , i mean for a gal who lives in US she was perfect. she respected her
parents and will always obbey them. stay away from other struff that 18 yr olds
wud do ..i mean like drinking and stuff. well she cuts hair . she said we will
stop cutting hair if i stop eating meat. adn other day i told her that i am
gonna stip eating meat but then she refused to stop cutting hair,.. we really
had a bad argument but she didnt care,, she had promised me but she broke
it,.,anways i got over it and we weer talking as usual again .
well after then i found abt that guy. the guy she said she will leave cuz he's
married now. well the truth was that he was always married cuz he was her moms
frinds husband and she calls her uncle. well i found this out on my own ,, she
never told me..and i was like shocked when i came to knwo this ., the guy is 16
yrs older than her and has a kid and his cheating on her wife. and then i found
that she has even slept with him ,,,,,,,well i tried to tell her that its wrong
but she doesn't seem to undersatnd thsi ,i mean i am telling this ffrom cuz i
care abt here but its fine with her if he is married.. adn now she had left me
for him ....adn i feel that she left me cuz i did something worng ,,,,like told
her that he is not gud and may be using her ....but she got mad at me and
suddenly left me,
i mena it didn't even take her 5 mins to decide taht shewill enever talk to me/
...

i donno why she lied to me .
but i really like her . i tried to help her but she always get mad at me.,]


i donno why i feel bad,,i always feel guilty that she left cuz of some tyhing
woring i did. i just told hert that she is breaking the trust her parents and
others have in her but she thinks as long as she can hide it , its fine,
my problem is that i cannot get over her ,,,it has been 2 weeks but i still miss
her so much ...its affecting my life ,,,i am like so lost these days always
thinking abt her ,,, and i know she even doesn't care.

i wnat if u can telll me what can i do to forget her ,...i even prayed to forget
her but it doesn't seem to work..i didn't do anything wirng to her, i just told
her that what he is doing is wrong.but she was like i am wrong and its happening
cuz of me
..thanks for reading it
if u can tell what i can do to foregt her i wud really appriate.

(REPLY) Sat Nam. It is very hard to get over a fantasy. And the romance you were having with this girl was not real. It was part your wishful thinking, part her creating illusion with her lies, and part just plain youthful ignorance on your part. These email romances are soooooo dangerous! You are just lucky that she dropped you. She was tired of playing the game with you -- so if you want to continue playing the fool, you can feel sorry for yourself and keep on fantasizing about her, but believe me, if you really truly want to move on with your life, you can DECIDE to get over her. She is not worth even remembering. You have that choice, you have that power, if you decide to use it. I'm sorry, I know it's painful, but all this is just emotional nonsense -- like a house built of smoke. PLEASE focus your mind on God and Guru, and use the energy that you are wasting on thinking about her to chant God's Name, recite the banis, and get a grip on yourself! You are feeling miserable for no good reason, so stop it. There is nothing for you to feel bad about, except that you wasted some time on a fantasy. It's over. Accept it, and pray for Guru's guidance to help you tell the difference between fact and fantasy. SP