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Summary of Question:Re: Sad Sister
Category:General Sikhism
Date Posted:Friday, 3/17/2006 11:40 PM MDT

Having been in the same position as your sister's not too long ago I can very well empathize with her. My ex-gf dumped me about 6 months ago and it is only now that I am starting to heal completely and feel together again. I cant help relieve your sister of her pain, and truth be told so cant you. In the end it all boils down to the person in hurt. However here are a few things I did that could be of use -

No Contact - this is the one true law of a breakup - dont maintain any contact with the other person. I tried being friends with my ex with the hope that she might get back with me someday, realized it wasnt working so asked her point blank. and the moment she told me that she didnt have anything to say i told her that this was the last time i was saying goodbye to her and put the phone down. I have never spoken to her or contacted her since (she once IMed me but i ignored it).
Now No Contact is hard at first. It is an incremental process. Ask your sister to refrain from contacting that guy just for one day, then for another, and another.
Pour your heart out - to family and friends. A dumped person feels like the lowest of lowlives on earth. So just tell her to talk to you, ask her friends over to just sit with her and talk to her - the more she pours out her pain and hurt the better she'll feel.

And finally - this may sound terribly cliched but "time is the greatest healer." It is amazing what changes the passage of time can bring about. Memories become distant, people and incidents fade away into the past. Just get your sister to stop meeting that guy, get her friends to convince her that its over and it is better this way, and just watch the days go by. It is an amazing feeling when you have gotten over your ex and feel alive again. Feel like dressing smart and smelling good and smiling...all that sort of stuff.And trust me, that day will come for your sister too.

And I needn't add - pray and ask your sister to do the same. God is here and He loves us all. And as for your sister saying God doesn't listen to her - let her fight with Him, pour her heart out to Him too, but make sure she doesnt stop praying.

God and Time shall heal.



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