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Summary of Question:Mother-In-Law
Category:Love & Marriage
Date Posted:Thursday, 8/28/2008 5:17 PM MDT


Thanks for your time and efforts for people not known to you. As the subject displays i have trouble handling my mother-in-law. She keeps saying ill words(baduaa) for me, my husband(because he supports me) and my maternal parents and also for children which we are planning after two years. My in laws are not religious while my maternal parents are amritdhari. My husband though born in this house, is amritdhari. His views and my in laws(his parents) views does not match. They always have conflict before our marriage.

Now after i got married and came into this house my both father in law and mother in law is troubling me. For Example They say i do not take care of them. If i prepare some food for them they do not have it. If i do not cook they say i am lazy . If i ask them what to cook they say whatever u wish. If i cook then they say we wanted something else in food and say u just want to show us that u can manage everything. After every few days they keep scolding me and points out mistake whatever i do and they say that u are a false person because i tell my husband everything. If u want to tell ur husband everything tell in front of us , not at our back. Nobody is here for me except my husband to discuss with. If they really wants me to say in front whatever had happened then why do they scolds me in his absence.

Everytime they scolds, either i catch hold their legs or hugs them up or give them a warm touch to calm them and simply says i shall do whatever u wishes just order me what to do but they do not let me know whats in their mind. If i ask them they say whatever u wishes and if i do what i feel right then they say i do man-marzi.

I simply cant understand why i am keep trying patching up with them and between them and their son, when their son himself is ready to separate and live separately.

They have issue that we both do our path together at amritvela . They have issue to speak to them first and then do prakash (Sri Guru Granth Sahib) afterwards in morning. They scolds me so badly and still expect i should stand there itself and do not go in other room to get refresh. I had never gave them back answere. But they are jeoleous of both of us. We keep our rehit , they do not.Even with SGGS prakash they cut hairs and drinks beers. whereas my husband had strictly warned them not to do or bring alchohol at premises.

Please help me. What do i do. Its midnight now and i still wonder what allegation they shall put tomorrow . I dont back answere them, just keep listening. I think i shall go mad with such people around and keep thinking. I cant even concentrate on the path. If i do SGGS path they say she keep sitting upstair, and not with us. what do i do. I feel suffocated. I thought i shall find a suitable job for myself but due to some situation that will take few more months. Should we separate and stay away from my in-laws. Even then they shall trouble me on phone or whenever we meet. I am confused.
Dear one,
You are smart and clear minded. You are not confused at all. Discuss with your husband a plan to arrange your own residence together. There is
no obligation to live with the negativity of your in laws. Do not discuss your plans until you are ready to move. But do move.

You are blessed to have the loving practice of your PATH with your husband.
Secure that and throw out the rest. You are the keeper and nurturer of the cosy home the spiritual base. Secure this for your husband, yourself and your childr4en to come.

God bless you,

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