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Summary of Question:	Husband Lied About His Past Life
Category:	Love & Marriage
Date Posted:	Wednesday, 5/12/2010 11:24 PM MDT

i and my husband are married for 3 years now. it was a love marriage. since childhood i grew up thinking that i will have relationship only one man in my whole life and dedicate my life to him and i wanted the same for my husband. i wanted my husband to never have any relationship with any other women in his life.

when i met my husband, i asked him if he had any kind of relationship with any other women he said no. before and after i have asked him so many times but he said that he has never touched a women before and i am the first woman in his life.
he had a bag which he always kept locked. i never asked him why he did that. but day he called me and asked that if i have gone through his bag. i said no. i asked him what was in the bag. he replied by saying that it has something which will ruin our marriage. i asked him again and again, he told me that it has pictures of him with another girl. he had told me about this girl earlier too that he was only marrying this girl to come to usa. i beleived him.

i saw where he kept the keys. when i was alone at home. i got the keys and opened the bag and found out that there were not only pics but love letters and cards. i read all the letters and it proved that they were intimate with each other. when i told my husband he got mad that i went through his stuff without asking him. he denied that he had any feelings for her. he only wanted to marry her to come to usa. he told me that he wasa very bad person in past but my love had changed . he said that they were not at all intimate

i dont know if i should beleive him or not because i have read letters which gives me some idea that they had some kind of relationship but my heart wants to beleive my husband who says that he has never had any physical relationship with the girl. i dont know what should i do. i love him so much that i can forgive him but i cant forget what he did to me. the main reason for me to marry him was because he had never had relationship with any one but now i know he did. i am very depressed. i dont want to live anymore. what should i do? should i believe my husband or is he a lier???
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reply
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Dear one, your husband decieved you. You are not the problem so do not despair.
Men can be like this. But the fact he has kept these photo's and letters is something that needs to be corrected. The 2 of you must discuss why he has kept these photo's and letters for this past 3 years. You must find some mature and wise person...parent, Giani, teacher,and you and your husband meet with that person and discuss without emotion what has happened. Of course it can be private. No one else needs to know.
I think he should burn the photo's and letters and bow before Guru and ask for forgiveness and you all take a hukam together. Please work this out and move on together. Reciting the Shabd "Bhand Jamee-ai...." daily can help you...and do read from Guru'ji daily during this trying time. Blessings to you, SK