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Summary of Question:Wifes Sister Living With A Black Man
Date Posted:Wednesday, 9/23/2009 8:56 AM MDT

Sat-siri-akal everyone.

I very much admire this forum, being able to express ones opinion
and listening to others.

The problem I have or dilemma I have is that my wifes sister is living
with a black man. We have just found this out. I am just a normal jat sikh
man married with two small children, brought up with strong family sikh and
strong moral values.

We have not seen her for four years and all of a sudden she turns up
at a family wedding. My wife spoke to her nicely but also expressed her
disgust and concern. Sometimes when my father and mother in law come to
visit us, my family always asks me "why didn't your wifes sister come"

We found out that she left her parent homes and went to live with this
black man. Too make things worse, she has now had a baby with him.
I think my in laws have accepted her, thats why she was at this family
wedding by herself. Although, my inlaws have never told me about this.
My wife tells me everything.

She said to my wife, that "next time mum and dad come to vist you, I will
come as well"

The question is everyone, should I allow my wifes sister to come and visit

I have too small children and what influence might this have on them, when
they find out that their mums sister is living with a black man and has
a baby?

What will the rest of my family think, if they hear about this?

I am not racist, it may sound as though I am, but my values and upbringing
are against this.

Please advise?


Sat Nam,
I want to ask you a few questions. What do you think good moral values are ? Are they based on what is convenient to you or to the whole humanity?

Do you not remember what Guru Nanak spent his entire life doing trying to unite everyone under the sun regardless of their believes, social status or even skin color ? Do you think Guruji cares what your personal moral values are or he would want you to understand the universal truth?

Every being on this planet and beyond has been created by one God. Our scriptures start with one most important phrase in this universe : "Ik Ong Kaar" - we are one, the creator and creation are one. It does not say "We are one, but not the black people"; or does it say "We are one but but only those of us with 'strong personal values' are the better ones?" And whose personal values those should be? Mine or yours?

Have you heard a phrase "If you can't see God in All you can not see God at All"? If God did not love every possible thing on this planet he would not have created it.

Fortunately or unfortunately it is not up to you or me to decide how people should live their lives because that would exclude most of the population.
I am sorry for your sister-in-law and situation in her life and not because she is living with a black man. I am sorry that she has a family who can not open up their minds and hearts to love her for who she is and accept the man she chose to be with.


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