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Summary of Question:Is It Fair? - Do Our Children Or Their Souls Belong To Us ?
Date Posted:Monday, 1/18/2010 8:20 PM MST

vaheguruji ka khalsa vaheguruji ki fateh

i really need your help. when i was 4 months pregnant, my nephew(my sister-in-law's son) died in an accident in india. my sister-in-law started believing that the child i will have is going to be his son. she prayed a lot and read lots of bani. she did sehaj path. she said that her son will come back and recogonize his real parents. now i have given birth to a boy. everyone in our family is hoping for the same.but i know how hard it is for me becausei have given him birth. if tomarrow he comes up and says that you are not my mother, what will i do? i understand my sister-in-law's feelings as she has lost her child. but not even once she thought about me that what will happen to me when my own child will not recogonize me and will not call me mom. everyone i talk to her she says that when my child will grow older he will recogonize her. it hurts me a lot because i m also a mother and don't want to lose my child. i m very afraid that i will lose my son. i m very depressed.i hope you understand my feeling. please help me.


Sat Nam,

This boy is your son, there is nothing to worry about. If we went by the rule your sister-in-law is going then her boy did not belong to her either, but to some mother before her, and another mother before that one and it will keep going for ever. No soul truly belongs to his or her parents in any life. We are just privileged to call them our children in any life.

The truth is whether your sister-in-law has prayed or hoped for there is no way for anyone to know whether she is right or not. Her story is very sad but she can not project her sadness onto your happiness and try to take it away or jeopardize it in any way.

Every soul chooses his or her parents in every life and those are the parents he or she is bound to for the rest of his or her life, by love, energy and karma. And that is you and your husband. It is most likely that your son is an entirely different soul.
Even if in some cases it may have happen the way your sister-in-law wanted and they recognized their previous parents they could not loved them anymore than as just another member of their family. Not at all like their own parents in current life.

It is very sad what happened to her but you are not responsible for her pain neither is your son. You, your husband and your collective energy has attracted this soul to be born through you. Your son wanted YOU to be his mother. Souls can not be held captive by us even if we really love them and want them to come back. They have their own destiny, karma and choices they can make.
Pray for her to have another child and that will be the soul that she should really worry about.

What I would strongly caution you about is having your sister in law put these ideas into your son's head and confusing the little boy for the rest of his life. Then making him feel guilty that he does not love her as much as he loves you. It is not a healthy way of growing up for anyone.

Lots of Love,


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