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Summary of Question:	Culture
Category:	Sikh Practices
Date Posted:	Saturday, 3/11/2006 11:47 PM MST

Waheguru Ji Ka Khalsa, Waheguru Ji Ki Fateh

I am a Sikh boy who is 14 years old with long hair. Let me tell you, it is extrememly difficult to live an American Life, when youre parents have those strict Punjabi cultural values. It is impossible to find a balance without feeling satisfied. Perhaps its just hormones, but there is a chinese girl I know. We have been friends for a year now. I feel I have to hide from my parents whenever I want to see her or be with her. Example, on a bus ride, she put her head on me and fell asleep. I really enjoyed it because I felt "wanted". She is always nice to me, and we talk about everythin and anything. If my parents found out one thing, It wouldn't be pretty. Just anyhting, I mean, I can't hang out with frieds to watch a movie. If there is a girl coming, its "what is this? hanging out with girls now? havent you learned anything?" Sometimes I just feel like cutting my hair, and living how I want, but rather, I have to live how my parents want. I am not really sure what I am asking, because you can't change my parents, but can you please give me some words of wisdom?
Waheguru Ji Ka Khalsa Waheguru Ji Ki Fateh

(REPLY) Sat Nam. It's not easy being 14 no matter where you live, or who your parents are! It's a difficult transition from being a kid to becoming a man. The best advice I can give you may not be much consolation, but I just want to assure you that PATIENCE PAYS! Much as you may want to rebel at this time, you're really not mature enough (my apologies, I don't mean to insult you, but hey, you're 14, not 24) to understand that you can't really live "how you want" at this time. So, for right now, concentrate on your studies, make the most of this time when your only real responsibility is to prepare yourself for a career by going to school and learning as much as you can. Your parents are probably worried as they know that at your age the strong attraction to girls really kicks in, and they don't want you getting into trouble. Probably they're over protective, but that's how it is. You really will just make things harder for yourself by resisting. This time will pass. Show them through your excellence in school, and your respectful obedience (are you? can you be?) that they can trust you, and as you get older, they may ease up on you. I wish I had something better to offer -- but wait, I do! Read the lives of the Gurus, and see what they went through! Read the banis (in English in Peace Lagoon) to help you understand the meaning of life, and give you a wider perspective.) Have faith, have patience, and pray for what is BEST for you. God bless you, and Guru guide you to fulfill the purpose for which you were born. SP