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Summary of Question:	Dilemma
Category:	General Sikhism
Date Posted:	Tuesday, 10/26/2004 2:42 AM MDT

Anand Gun nidhaan, Guru Garib Nivaaz

I have a question which is personalised to myself but I think there may be a few people out there with the same problem.

I seem to be getting more and more into the Gurus way as each day passes. I have began regularly doing part and I am surprised that, will gods kirpa, I have been waking early doing ishnan and doing paath.
I have even started to keep my beard longer and detest the thought of cutting my hair. Neither my family or Fiance are strongly into Sikhi a great deal. I, at least expected to have my mums support but I said to her the other day what do you think if I kept my Kes, she said bhahe ja ram na (just sit down quietly). My Fiance is not very supportive either but she doesnt want to comment about it because she feels it will jeopardise our relationship.

I find it difficult to share with anyone but I yearn to be Gurmukh. My heart and mind yearn for Guru and when I meet with amritdhari sikhs (which is rarely) I am left idolising them. I see such spirituality and strength in them and my heart and mind will not rest until that day I take Amrit.

I am due to marry my fiance next year in August, what do you think i should do in the meantime?. My fiance says she does not mind if i become amritdhari 2 years after we are married but that is likely to change. You should also bare in mind that I have no amritdhari relatives and for me to make this big step would be seen as a huge shock for everyone.

Please help without you great people I have no one to turn to.

Mai Chare kunda Bhaaliya, tudh jevad naa saa-heea

(REPLY) Sat Nam. May God and Guru bless you with the courage to follow the dictates of your soul and not be discouraged by anyone from fulfilling your destiny to live as Khalsa. Remember, there was once a single lone Sikh who stood on the road to collect a toll from the invading army (I don't recall the exact story -- but the moral is that a true Sikh has the courage of his convictions, and no matter what, stands firm, "Strong as steel, steady as stone.") We each are born alone, and shall depart this Earth alone to face Dharam Raj, and no family or friends, wife will be with us when at that time of judgment. That is why we have as our code of conduct, the "Rehit Maryada" -- which means "constant remembrance of death." If we live each day as if it were our last, then we are living up to the guidance and hukam of our Guru. SP