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Summary of Question:	Am I Hurting Him And Myself
Category:	Love & Marriage
Date Posted:	Monday, 5/24/2004 12:53 AM MDT

i am 20 years old and i met a guy in my class,,he is sikhjat from good family...we became very close in our class for 4 months,,i started to like him and i belive he felt the same way, cuss i noticed he used to look at me in class..sooo we chated on net few times all night,,,then about end of semster,,we start hanging out after classes ,,,then one day i kissed him to let him know how i feel,,his respose was that he thought we should take it slow,,,i was hurt and felt like a fool after the whole kising thing,,,then for week or soo ,,we pretendig like nothing had happend and countine to hang out,,,then after few weeks later, we talked again on the net for up to 5 hours at night,, we talked about marrige,kids,and etc,,,then we start talking about the night we kissed,,he said he liked it and wanted to do it again and he respects me,,he said it was his first kiss and not mine (he dosn't know,dose he needs to know),,,am pretty sure he likes me and i do too alot,,,,but am afrid to get hurt again and hurt him too becuse he said he wants a good girl..i am still virgin and he knows that (but i had bf before,and he dosn't know...deep down my heart i feel bad not letting him know dat i had ex bf,,cuss i don't want to hurt him).,,,but now he wants to do oral stuff and am not sure if i want too,,if hes the right one,,will he marry me,,itold him dat the only person am gonna do this stuff with is who am gonna be with forever and not sum temprary bf(i never did anything like dat with my ex boyfreind)....he said he understand and i said promise not to hurt me ,and he said promise,,I am his first girlfreind and hes not mine first,,,if my parents finds out ,,i don't know how they going to react,bceause they knew about my first boyfreind and i was in lot of trouble,,,but then i think,,maybe they will say yes,,because hes educated and from respected family,,,,another thing i noticed after the kiss is that he never talked about marraige with me now,,,one day i ask him,,wht if my parents finds out about us,,wht would u doo,,he said we'll see when dat happens,,,i like him alooot,,,hes gonna be gone in month to another city to study for few years,,and he said we can see eachother every weekend,,,,am soo confused,,if he truly likes me or juts taking a advantge..is this realationship worth it,,wht should i doo????

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No he does not need to know all about your past. Go from the present. If he wants a good girl, then act like one. Follow your intuition, not your fear or desire. If you want this guy to last, build the relationship slowly. Build it on friendship and getting to know each other for all the important things... like, talking about your goals in life, children, where will you live, etc. etc. On the Matrimonials on this web page, you will find a lot of informtion about marriage and relationships. Read it all...follow it...write us back if you need more questions answered. Don't allow your grace to fall. Build your relationship on grace, trust and respect. No oral sex for now, anyway. Blessings. GTKK