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Summary of Question:Once Gurmukh Husband Turned Atheist
Date Posted:Saturday, 3/12/2011 9:06 PM MST

Dear Sikhnet Community,

I write this question in such confused state that i am not sure what i am seeking from the readers. I already know that i must accept but maybe the act of writing my thoughts will help me get a clear understanding of the situation.

My husband of two years just informed me that he has 'finally' decided to be true to himself and has cut this beautiful dhari and hair after 22 years of living the life of a Gursikh. ( he is away on a business trip and told me this over the phone - Both my husband and i wear dastars)

We have had multiple conversations about this subject over the years, and i have tried my hardest to convince him not to go through with it.. as i truly believed his faith will return. That if i tried hard enough, if i prayed and begged Guru ji to give him faith, that if i loved him more then i can ask him not to go though with it.

But two years later, i am finally forced to accept that he is his own man.. but what other choice do i have?

I must decide how does this decision impact me? My family who has accepted him as my husband because he was a Gursikh.. how do i explain this to them? Am i the one to explain? Why am i embarrassed and ashamed? And what am i to do with these emotions of anger and hurt? How will this effect our marriage? Will we survive?

I know marriages of different faiths are successful but coming from a Punjabi Sikh family, how do i explain to the community? will i (we) be shunned from the Sikh community?

But most importantly, how do i face my father? Both my Guru and my dad?

I do wonder if there is a support group of Sikh women or men whose spouse have chosen different spiritual or non spiritual path.

My dear, please be very calm and have faith. Recite the shabd SOPURKH NIRINJAN HAR Guru Ram Das in Rehiras....recite it 22 times every day....11 times for your husband and 11 times for yourself. Do this for 3 years. Give your prayer to the Guru. It is in HIS hands.
Do not feel shy or embarrased with your family. They all should know the truth of this man and his condition. Therefore, do not hide but be out in the open. Smile at him and smile with your family.

If this happened recently, then you need to see how this plays out with him. In the meantime seek out the support of your family and especially of Guru. Recite this prayer and see him as a saint. Your prayer is most powerful thing on the planet. If he cut his hair so he can do hanky panky then all will come clear
soon enough.

God bless you and thank God for all, SK.

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