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Summary of Question:Marriage Of An Amritdhari Girl.....
Category:Love & Marriage
Date Posted:Friday, 10/23/2009 11:03 AM MDT

i am a sikh boy of 19 years...i am a saabat surat sikh i dont drink nor i eat non -veg and i am a non trimmer sikh boy.

i know a girl who is an amritdhari sikh girl and we both love each other a lot and want to marry each other but the main problem is that she is an amritdhari and i am not and i dont want to become an amritdhari because of some reasons.
BUT THE GIRL IS SAYING THAT SHE CANNOT ACCEPT ME WIDOUT BEING AN AMRITDHARI.but i dont to lose her nor can i be an amritdhari
so please help me that is it neccesary that an amritdhari girl can marry only an amritdhari boy and not anyone else....because we love each other a lot and we cant live widout each other.

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REPLY
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Sat Nam Dear,

You seem to be looking for a permission or a validation of some kind in this situation. You want someone to help you "make" this girl change her mind ?
I happy to say that it does not work that way. You have to take the responsibility, both of you, for this relationship and make it work if that is what you want. Just like I mentioned earlier anything can work but you both have to want to make it work.
This seems to be your first serious test of many. If you are not willing to compromise and your feelings are important to you than becoming Amritdary... and she is not willing to compromise and marrying an Amritdary is more important to her than love than this marriage is not meant to be. Neither one of you may be mature enough or you both are just not ready to enter a higher level of commitment but making each other do one thing or the other is not going work.
You have to keep in mind that 'LOVE', though a very nice ingredient to have in a marriage is not enough and in a lot of cases is not even important. What is important most of all is commitment and ability to accept each other the way you are, and willingness to work it out no matter what. You don't seem to have those ingredients yet. Love, the way you describe may eventually fade or change into something else, commitment, understanding, mutual support and acceptance will stay there for ever if that is what you base your relationship on.

Good Luck

DKK





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