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Summary of Question:	Incompatible?
Category:	General Q's from Non-Sikhs
Date Posted:	Thursday, 4/08/2004 7:14 AM MDT

Sat Sri Akal. i am writing to you because i am quite confused on the whole topic of MARRAIGE. Q&A forum... i always seem to come across the idea of "sikhs can only marry sikhs"...although i can understand the explanations behind this i still seem to want to prove this wrong... certainly with my case.

what if we are talking about a hindu woman and a sikh man?

i have been with my partner for over a year now and he is sikh i am hindu. During this time i have come to love sikhism and have adopted its practices as my own.(although not YET as many as i would like..but will in future i am sure.)

i understand when u say *"Because Sikhi dictates an approach to life and morals that are NOT compatible with the approach to life and morals of these other religions."* But what if i am not willing to but am HONOURED to adopt these approaches and morals to life and to share them with my partner??? Am i still incompatible??? if so why????

Although i know i will never deny my hindu origin, i also know that i cannot and will not deny this new founded love for sikhi. Not because i want to impress my partner but because he has helped me to see sikhi for what it really is in its purest form.

i am not interested in labelling myself as half sikh half hindu. but i am interested in finding the best path to being a good person and finding the best path to God.

if this is what me and my partner want. if being happy and being good people and being closer to God is what me and my partner want. Why am i still incompatible?

thank u for listening to me rabble on... but i feel very strongly about this topic. i would not want to put my partner through any unecessary trouble if indeed it turns out that there is a deep and important reason as to why we cannot be together. But i have to be able to understand it for myself truly... before i can decide if he should let me go. Any response or help would be MUCH MUCH APRECIATED.

SitaRam

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SitaRam!!

There is no RIGHT and WRONG way here. You and your partner need to examine for yourselves what is important to you. I know plenty of Sikh marriage that are miserable and horrible. In your heart and soul and with a mind to the practical as well, examine your relationship. If you can make it work - go for it. I know this will anger some of the readers, but you know what...I am not a moderator looking to please everyone all the time. I answer as I feel is best for each individual. Ask the Gurus and all the Hindu Gods to help you make the best decision for you. Blessings. GTKK

SECOND REPLY

Dearest Sita Ram,
I completely agree with the previous response. All of us who call ourselves Sikhs came originally from a different culture or religion, or our ancestors did. I would pose these questions to those who say Sikhs should only marry Sikhs:
First, is a first-generation Sikh, then, not considered a Sikh? Where is the basis for this in the Guru's teachings? The truth is, there is absolutely no basis for this notion in the Guru's teachings.
Second, should a first-generation Sikh only marry a person from the religion or culture into which they were born? What is the logic or basis for this? There is none.
Third, should a first-generation Sikh not marry anyone at all? Since it is one of Guru Nanak's primary teachings to practice the life of a householder, certainly a first-generation Sikh is not expected to forfeit marriage.

The LIFE CHOICES two people who want to marry make for themselves and their future, before Siri Guru Granth Sahib, is what is important, not the past. After all, it was Guru Ram Das who wrote the Anand Karaj, the wedding vows we take in marriage, after his father in law, Guru Amar Das, sought him out as the best husband for his daughter. At that time he was still known as Jetha, a poor, street orphan grown to a beautiful young man, whose loving Hindu parents had died when he was only a child of seven. Sat Nam. God bless you. -GMK