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Summary of Question:Thanks To Dk
Category:General Sikhism
Date Posted:Wednesday, 8/26/2009 1:09 AM MDT

this message is for DK..


DEAR DK,
i dont hv ur e-mail add..so i thought of writing to u here:) Btw ders no question :p

DK thanks a lot for your advice n explanation..i really appreciate that. i was always wondering y do every1 say dat u must nt loose ur virginity b4 marriage. Now dat i understood everything..i shall stop dis here. No more sexual relationship wid him or anyone else except for my future husband. i will meet him tomorrow itself and explain to him why i wanna stop hving any physical relationship with him. i hope i can make him understand by taking your points. May be he didnt know all the facts dat u told me or may be he was just taking advantage on me..'god knows'.

im very shameful for watever i have done. i love him too much and didnt want to loose him coz his a very nice man and also caring. He will always call and make sure if i gt study today. I still dont want to loose him..but everything depends on tomorrow. If he understands wat i am saying and admits his mistake, then may be i would forgive him(but nt to hv any physical relationship wid him) or else i shall end this relationship here. But i dont wanna loose him coz I still love him alot.

im very sure dat he wont be able to take it coz he loves me alot and dont wanna loose me..he even told me he wants to marry me and he's willing to wait for me until i finish my studies. But i told him by then he will be too old to gt married. and hw if situation dosent allow us. i have no problem coz i will be still young and can get married at any time but how bout him...he will be old already and nobody will marry him. nad he will be too old to become a father etc..

Hopefully he can understand my feelings...but still we have to stop it here. Thanks to you. You make me realise wat he's up to. Thanks once again:)

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REPLY
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Dear Jessy,

There are a couple of things to consider in your decision.
It is totally OK to love anyone, our feelings of love intensify when we let people in on a physical level, but not just that. We get attached in a very deep way just because ... he maybe is a really nice person. One thing to know is try not to let anyone in too close unless you are ready for marriage yourself and they are too so you would not have to deal with that much pain.
Second thing is to remember is that even there is a very big age difference a relationship and a marriage can work as long as you both understand the concequences of that kind of arrangement and are willing to deal with them and if you proceed into that relationship with out most respectful intentions as you would any relationship.
And the last is that if you do that meditation I gave you, not only it will help you get the imprint of that man out of your aura and arc line but will also help you clear the pain of the separation.
If you are making a decision to break up with this man you have to figure out the best way to do it for yourself. Will it be easier for you to stay friends? Or can you cut it off all together and never see him again. Either way the consiquences are going to be very painful and you need a tool for your self to make sure that eventually you can look back on the whole thing and feel OK with it and feel free of pain. This meditation is the best tool. Please try to use it and see what experience it will bring.

Good luck

DK






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