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Summary of Question:Betrayed Friend
Date Posted:Wednesday, 10/03/2007 12:05 AM MDT

I am previously read the other questions on hair. I am a 16 years old and am a strong believer of Sikhism and keep my hair. I never thought of cutting my hair. It was not even an option to me. My friend, however, cut his hair. He's been like a brother and my best friend to me and we have known each other for about seven to eight years.

His auntie told my family that he wanted to cut his hair. That day he called me and he told me that as well. I talked to him for about 40min and i thought he wouldnt cut his hair for another day or two. The next day my sister told me that he was just about to leave but his mom stopped him. Four to five families went to his house to persuade him to keep his hair. He then said he won't and that he only wanted to cut his hair because he was going to a college that cacasions were the majority.

So he went to another college with more Sikhs. After two months, he seemed to be doing fine. We talked on the phone and played fantasy football. Then we didnt talk for about five days. But after those days my other friend told me that he cut his hair on the past weekend. It was a total shock to me. I could not believe that he would continue thinking about it even after all the talking those families did to him. I know he was pressured by his brother alot since he does not keep his hair as well. I know he goes to parties but he told me that he doesnt drink andi I know that he does not.

When I first met him he did not keep his hair but after a year or so he started too. When the families met him he had very lame excuses. I was deeply offended by these excuses. None of these even come close to what our Guru sacraficed to us. I believe that he is morally weak and just isn't stong on the inside.

My question to you now is that how do I overcome his actions? I have known him for a long time and its hard to picture how he would look like. I havnt seen him yet and i know that he would have a hard time facing me as well. I don't what to do? Do I forgive him? Do I lead him toward the right path? If so then how? and "What would our Gurus do/tell to him"?

Also, I greatly appriciate what Sikhnet is doing with helping the youth. May Vaheguru bless you all for this seva.

Dear one,

So many people are wishing this young man well. But, he is not wishing for the same as they. He is acting very young and immature and going toward the illusion rather than into the deep beauty of his inner grace.

As a friend you must let him go and wish him only well. Also, you can include him in your ardas that Guru bless him with an experience of inspiration that gives him the desire to live with elevated value rather than with unconsciousness.

For now, save your forgiveness until he asks for it. You do not need to befriend him at this time if it is a compromise for you. He will not find happiness from parties and looking like the masses. They have not had the blessing of the Guru in their lives. Through time and experience he can be reborn to the love and service of Wahe Guru.

You can accept this event as a challenge to look within yourself for the insight and leadership to share what elevates and inspires you.

Blessings to you,

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