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Summary of Question:turbans
Date Posted:Friday, 9/01/2000 1:16 PM MDT

Satnam, I have a question that has grated at my sould for some time. I am not a youth but feel that I need to have any opinion to this question other than my own. I am a female 29 years of age. I am married to a non Sikh and have recently asked my husband how he would feel if a decided to begin wearing a turban. He initially did not have any comments. I decided that I would let him see what I looked like. His first reaction was to laugh and say how silly I looked, but once he realized that I was serious he relayed "his" fears. For example he said such things as ," people will laugh, you will be closing many opportunities in your life by wearing a turban, I like the way you look without a turban(you are more beautiful). Why do you need to wear a turban your mother doesn't". These comments have got me caught in mixed emotions and feel I have a loyalty to both my husband and my guru.

I recently came back from a ladies Khalsa camp. At the camp I learned to tie a turban and I am unable to put into words what came over me. I instantaneously felt as though an energy beam went through my brain and into my feet. I stood tall and felt such inner pride and joy. My desire has always been to take Amrit yet never thought I would wear a turban. My heart and soul are being pulled towards Waheguru and these feelings increase every day. Whether it is through Kirtan , Banis or Yoga meditations my soul wants to fly and sing to meet him.

Please help me with this, I feel that I am being selfish. I dont want to hurt my husband and make him as he says "embarrassed" in front of his friends.
I wonder why you are not worried about your husband being selfish? You are only improving yourself, you are not asking him to do anything different. Why isn't he worried about you being "embarrased" in front of your friends?
If you are a better, more spiritual woman, how can that be worse for your husband?
Those concerns of his are very earthly and temporary. They are also false. Any friend that would reject you for following your highest calling is not a friend at all. Better to find out sooner than later. People respect commitment. It will help you in life, not hurt.
Meditate and pray, serve and uplift. You are finding out what all have said since time immemorial....The spiritual path is like the edge of a sword. It takes guts and commitment to walk it while the whole world is trying to knock you off. Keep up and God will keep you up!

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