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Summary of Question:	fighting
Category:	Other
Date Posted:	Saturday, 7/17/1999 9:30 AM MDT

I am a13 year old boy i have quite a few problems at school for eg. i'llfight someone if the keep giving me unwanted comments after they want stop irritating me after i ask them to stop verbally and usually the only advice i get for not fighting is to shrug it off or ignore the person, but it is not easy especially when u are up against a whole group. Do u have a better answer except ignoring the person or people teasing you ?

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REPLY
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Dear J. Singh,

You are talking about a very tough situation here. I have personally been there. I remember getting the same advice and trying it and only finding out that then the other guy just gets to beat you up a little easier than the last time. The problem is that this advice is also the best advice. If and unless the other person touches you in a violent manner you should not engage in any form of violence. What is obvious here is that you have an anger management issue. So do I. But this is not an exscuse I found for hurting the other guy. Sticks and stones may break my bones but names will never hurt me, you know what I'm saying. If you are getting a hard time at school or wherever it is you should first speak to your parents if they cannot help you then you should speak to your teacher or your principal. Nobody likes a rat, but nobody likes to be bothered either. I promise you if you continue down the path of violence the problem will get worse, and one day it could get dangerous. Dangerous is stupid, it is not brave to not settle a problem by other means, if it comes to violence then both parties have failed to do the right thing. If violence is used against you then you have no choice but to defend your own person. With that I agree, but it can be worked out just like anything else. Now I know that you do not enjoy the teasing and so on , JUST IGNORE IT, if you can try to settle it by talking it out if that doesnt work seek help if that doesnt work go to your pricipal. Like I said i have been there and it is really not any fun, I was picked on because I reacted and it was funny. I fought them but it didnt stop. It stopped when I grew up and realized that those guys are jerks any way and I didnt need to be around them. I made my own friends and eventually my life was a lot more peaceful and easier and a hell of a lot more fun. I hope that this has helped you and I really hope you solve your problem soon. Keep up , dont give up and do the right thing. Thank You

Wahe Guru Ji Ka Khalsa Wahe Guru Ji Ki fateh