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Summary of Question:	Marrying A Different Race
Category:	Love & Marriage
Date Posted:	Monday, 5/29/2000 12:55 AM MDT

hi my name is danny real name Dharmjit

i read one of the question regarding marriage to a different race .
Your responce was to wait till u get married to fall in love.Now how do u fall in love after marrage (love doen't work like a light switch)My question is god is the creator right so he give's us all these feelings and then says it wrong to love someone else beside ur race (that is what i understood from one of ur replys)know you say all this is coming from the western world i agree but isn't but the guru follow us where ever we go then why is it wrong to marry other race if it's love.(meaning that ur willing to died for this person)

ps I'm loyal i will marry an Eastindian it's just for thr record..

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REPLY
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Dear Dharmjit Singh:
Sat Siri Akal. I did not answer the post you mention above. The concern about marrying because one has fallen in love is that sometimes what we take for love is just infatuation. Marriage needs love to work, but it also needs mutual respect and understanding. When we are in love without a commitment, and without living together, we are not tested. So then what may happen is a couple is in love and marries, and the first test of the relationship causes a souring that lasts for the rest of the marriage. I am just explaining the thinking, because I know that people marry and then fall in love, and people fall in love and then marry, and both types of situations can be successful or not. Love isn't a light switch, but I have definitely seen successful marriages where the love came after marriage!

I do not think that the moderator meant to say that one should only marry one's own race. In any case, I do not believe it is a requirement for a successful marriage at all. If two people of different races are in love and think they should marry, they should be allowed to do so. But cross-cultural differences that go with having 2 races in one marriage may require extra compassion and understanding to keep the marriage going strong. If two Sikhs of different race marry, they have married the Guru, and their first commitment as a married couple is to the Guru. So long as this is remembered and honored daily, the difference in race should not be a major issue at all.

God bless you,
-DKK