Previous

Next

Ask a Question

Summary of Question:	Re: Amritdhari Wanting 2 Cut Hair
Category:	Other
Date Posted:	Sunday, 5/30/2004 12:51 PM MDT

To all my young sisters, a voice from within you. Please read

*************************************************************

Fateh to all.

Just thought i would let that person out there know that you r not the only one that wants to cut your hair.

If any current young sikh has not eva felt they would like to cut their hair, I believe they are not a true sikh until they have felt the pressure and stayed firm in their faith.

Guru Ji has been crystal clear from the beginning that being a sikh is going to be tough (the path of the double sword). It is going to be like walking along the edge of the double sword (painful and v. difficult) and you could lose your concentration any minute by other factors in life such as cutting your hair having a greater attraction.

Me wanting to cut my hair was not someting that happened over night but it was something that had been in my head for a long time and the idea began to grow. I know you are a not a girl but i think the reasons you want to cut your hair are similar to my reasons. (apart from the hot chicks. yuk. yuk. yuk. uhmmm vomit smiley would express my mood clearly.)

i wanted to cut my hair cos I wanted to be able to wear sleeve-less tops, skirts, dresses and be able to go to balls and be major on the social scene. Also i wanted to be able to have various hairstyles, and also wear loads of funky clips in my hair!!!!!

I think what made me want to cut my hair more is the fact that I knew i wasn't ugly. Unlike most of my non-sikh friends i had the 'raw' materials (soz but I don't know a better way of putting this) being fair skin, perfect nose from mum naturally wide brown eyes and hair the figure etc. I knew as soon as i cut my hair i would be major with my friends and others.

Contrary to popular belief guys never featured in the equation cos i don't want to go around messing with people. Also i already had plenty of non sikh friends. So there I was already to go out and cut my hair but then a series of events happened that stopped me.

Like you i found going to the gurdwara such a drag........too many oldies. Anyway I went to the Gurdwara to say goodbye to the place and the people who i had become so familiar to. Just as i was about to leave i noticed this guy, maybe 2 years older than me, in the corner by the door who i had never ever seen before. To be honest he was butt ugly and very short. I thought he was like some freshy from india or maybe africa cos he had a massive flat nose and he was so dark. Then i thought he was some kirtane person as he was wearing those kind of clothes and a turban which strangely did not match. Luckily he did not see me staring at him.

Just as i was about to leave he asked if i ate langar in the most sweetest voice ever. Rather than lying i told the truth and said no. Then he went and actually got the food for me. By this point i was feeling very self concious but no one seemed to notice.

Anyway before i started to eat the food i asked if he was the kirtane or whether it was him doing the langar to only learn that he wasn't either. He sat down by me and began talking. I find it really hard to descibe what happened nxt but the more he talked the more beautiful he got!!!!

Literally his colour become whiter and his nose wasn't fat or flat and his deep black eyes had this glow in them. He didn't even seem short anymore. I didn't want him to stop talking and to tell you the truth i was sad when i finished eating langar and he was like i have to go and i shouldn't stop you.

When he stopped talking he did return to be dark but he was way cool (neva thought I would say this to someone wearing kirtane clothes). His personality brought this great awe and i actually had this great respect for him that i yet still have to find someone i would have a greater respect for. When i left the gurdwara i was vey humbled especially by how i thought he looked and what i concluded from that.

That event stopped me from cutting my hair that day cos that person taught me that personality overrides looks and in his case his looks were changed by his personality. I realised that sikhs were facing prejudices even by sikhs themselves and that i should be doing something about that rather than contributing to it. So i kept my hair.

If this was face to face i could describe to u how much he touched me. Now i have never looked at any one again and thought u r ugly. Sadly never saw that person at the gurdwara otherwise i would have told him that he was great. So i guess nxt time u think someone is thinking dirt about u go and touch their heart.

I also realised that the reason i wanted to cut my hair was based on the assumption that sikhs weren't cool and only non-sikhs were popular and all that.
i guess i felt being sikh was what was stopping me when actually it was a prejudice that i held. I am ashamed of that but at least i found it and got rid of it. That guy that day acted as a role model showing me that hey i am a turban youth with a beard in kirtane clothes and wow i can be cool without trying to act cool like sooooo many people i know. I know that if he turned up at uni he would be major and not me with my cutted hair.

Since then i have come across many other things that illustrate this. For example next to my bus stop in the city centre there is this sikh guy and all my friends are crazy about him. I am not cos it's not in my character to perve and say people are hot. (me thinks it is shallow). This person has a beard and all that and is popular than the people that have cutted their hair so it can be done it's just that there are not many people out there to show this while there are tooo many ppl with cutted hair being popular.

Many ppl don't realise that religions are just a set of principles. In Sikhism the belief to not eat meat is not a rule but it is to say killing animals is wrong which is something i would believe in regardless of whether it was written down. Likewise i think treating all people with respect is right and you shouldn't really be thinking about sleeping with hot chicks. My view of love is when you love one person with all your heart and you wouldn't love anyone else except them. for true love to work you must love that person and that person must love you. If you change yourself for that person to love your love is not true. So really it would be silly if you changed yourself for a hot chick to like you.

Also i am not sure about your defintion of fun but i would say fun is about feeling happy and the happiness is something that which comes from inside and is spread out towards other people so that they can laugh smile etc. This can be done without cutting your hair.

trouble is i have come across a number of sikhs with beards and girls with hair who aren't very confident in themselves. i think most sikhs see ppl viewing them as i viewed that person at the gurdwara. If they become confident at expressing themselves ppls opinions will change and they will be like wow u are cool. taking the first step is hard cos you have to face the you are dirt look.

If anything being a sikh and keeping my hair has built my character . i go around wearing the clothes i like - sleeveless as well but you just got to fahion it well. I wear dresses and generally chill with my mates. Not that you have a problem with the clothes you can wear. lol. silly me for writing that. Can't be bothered to delete it so, oh well.

Recently there are a number of people who have come to the idea that personality matters. If anything it is great when you make someone realise their prejudice and they change it and they then think yeah being a sikh is amazing. You are amazing. I am glad that i stayed being a sikh cos i am making people think twice and earning their respect like that person in the gurdwara earned mine. If i didn't do this sikh ppl would face alot of prejudice . You wouldn't think that keeping something simple as your hair could make such a big difference.

i am not going to call you the common word - paj ji. You are one of the few ppl i will call Vir Ji. Vir means warrior and i think it is up to us ppl, the youth, to show to the generally misguided public that sikh people can be more popular then those with cutted hair. You can think of it as a battle and you the warrior have to keep your hair and look people in the eye and question their prejudiced view about you and your hair.

ahhhhhhhhhh. off topic but I have to revise for my exams now. Grrrrrrrrrr. Internet is such a distraction and i always seem to write tooo much. better be worth it cos i don't want to fail my exams. ahhhhhhhhh. everyone wish me luck and vir Ji the luck in his battle.