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Summary of Question:	Depression
Category:	Love & Marriage
Date Posted:	Monday, 2/19/2001 10:48 PM MST

sat sri akal

i am in desperate need to get back on track. i strongly believe in god. however, i don't understand why it is taking me so long to get back on track and focus on my life.

my situation is very complicated. i will give u a brief overview of my situation. i am 21 years old. When i was 16, i met someone who i believe was my soulmate. i was very serious about him. We went out for a couple of years and he broke the relationship off b/c he was no longer in love with me. To this day, i cannot get on with my life. i think of him constantly to the point i become emotionally drained and cannot focus on other important aspects in my life such as school. i tried to do paath but it is not helping. i want to be in a better state of mind, i want to be productive , happy and prosper in my life but i feel i am caught in some hole and can't get out. i recently have tried to recite the sukhmani paath but i dont know if it is effective. i feel maybe i am not feeling good because i may be bad for going out with him. please help me understand why i am feeling like god does not want to help me. i cannot get over this guy, he was gone away for some time and has returned and i still try to call him but

he wants nothing to do with me. i am hurt, angry, upset and frustrated....please tell me how i could overcome this situation. i feel like i have changed for the worse ....please help


emotional and depressed....rb

Dear RB--

Sat Siri Akal Ji.

It is normal to feel angry and hurt and upset after a breakup. Remember that we have karms that sometimes bring us into contact with someone and then OUT of contact with someone. So as always, there is something larger going on. Remember this to keep a little perspective on the situation.

It is time to let go of your attachment to this person. Most important thing you can do is FORGIVE him. You do not have to do this to his face, just do it in your heart. It will free you both of the karms involved and of the attachment. Forgive him for hurting you, for the whole situation, and forgive yourself for your part in it, so to speak. You will find this very healing. Also, Sukhmani Sahib recited daily is effective for so many things, I cannot list them. You will see the difference over a long period of time, maybe not in a day or so. It will help stabilize your mind and build your ability to see both sides of a situation clearly (neutral mind). I encourage you to keep up with this practice!

Exercise, yoga and meditation are all very good for helping the mind shift out of an old situation. Go here for a list of yoga/meditation teachers in your area: http://www.kundaliniyoga.com/Sikhnet/IKYTA.nsf/IKYTA. Brisk walks, jogging, aerobics are all good for raising the spirits and giving one perspective.

Allow yourself TIME to heal. Some things take us longer than others, I can vouch for my own experience, so do not feel like you are abnormal because you still hurt. The above suggestions will speed your healing. You might also seek out some counseling if you can manage it, (even a school or college counselor) to get additional perspectives on your experience. Sometimes we just need to talk to someone to release our feelings.

I hope this helps. Guru Rakha.

-DKK