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Summary of Question:	How To Get Over Attraction To A Guy
Category:	Love & Marriage
Date Posted:	Thursday, 9/27/2001 11:46 AM MDT

Waheguru ji ka Khalsa, Waheguru ji ki Fateh.

I have a little problem and I was wondering if you could help me. I am a sikh amritdhaari girl and ther is this guy I really like. I think I'm in love with him. I know it is wrong for sikhs to think that way of any person of the opposite gender, but I can't help it. What can I do to make myself stop liking him? Please help.

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REPLY
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Waheguru Ji Ka Khalsa, Waheguru Ji Ki Fateh!
Well the obvious answer if there is no hope or chance of connecting with this fellow through the proper channels, is to not be in his presence. Avoid going to the places where you see him, or go at a different time.

It is easy to get a 'crush' on people, and it happens to both men and women, whether or not they are amritdhari, so stop beating yourself up about this. If we didn't have such attractions, we wouldn't have families either!

If there is no way you can have friends or family arrange for you to meet this fellow to see if the attraction is mutual, then use this as a test from Guru for control of your mind. You are amritdhari: did you not vow to keep bani and practice Naam Simran? I can assure you that daily extended practice of the Naam will give you a meditative mind and make the peaks and valleys of your (anyone's) monkey mind level out. A meditative mind makes it easy to detach oneself from a situation especially when the situation involved is unresolvable. Don't make excuses. Just do it. Your mind will still try to focus on this fellow, but ignore it and chant the Naam. In time, you will find yourself eased (inside) on this situation and moving on will be easy.

Guru ang sang,
-DKK