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Summary of Question:	Re: Friendship
Category:	General Sikhism
Date Posted:	Monday, 1/22/2007 8:22 AM MST

Thank you for your wonderful response. I know I need to wake up to reality but I guess...I really dont want to because of how much I really truely have gained from this friendship. To be frank, I dont even think that their is anything wrong in all this because I know that I never have and never will do anything to upset my parents adn plus I also have this feeling that he really might not be as bad as you or I might think. REALLY! I mean, yes, its hard to trust anyone these days-especially on the net but then you have to understand that their are people out there who think the same way as us. I mean to say...we are not the only ones in this world that care about "izit", "sanscars", etc etc. I talked to him about it cause I just wanted to get it out of my system and wanted to see how he would respond...which I really dont know was the right thing to do....and he obviously as I expected seemed to understand and was willing to listen to me and wanted me to tell him what he/or we should do cause under no circumstances does he ever want to hurt me or my parents. He seemed very "cool" about that.

So I know you might think this is "flirtation" or whatever but what I think is that this is just a good friend and NOTHING more!! So I am still very very very throughly confused though...what should I DO??? Should I stop communicating with him? But then I feel like I've betrayed someone cause he told me that he wants to cherish this friendship forever. I guess I am being stupid. I dont know...really. So I understand what you guys think about this whole thing, now I need to take some kind of ACTION adn I really dont know what that is. If you could help me further, that would be really really appreciated.

Once again, thank you so much for taking this matter seriously. I cant explain to you how great it feels to be talking to "wise adults" about all this and getting their advice. I dont know what life would be like without Sikhnet!!!!

THANK YOU!
Have a good one.

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reply
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Sat nam. What you should DO is stop focusing on and obcessing over this person. It is VERY hard for unrelated straight men and women to be friends without romantic or sexual desire getting in the way ultimately. Group events take the romantic pressure off, but really, when does a woman hang out with an unrelated man -- or vice versa -- without some kind of romantic agenda involved on at least one person's part? No offense to anyone meant. In your case, it will get in the way. Professional friendships in the workplace can be an exception, because what is held in common is the workplace.

Get on with your life. Find other friends, get involved in community or school activities and move on.
Guru ang sang,
DK