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Summary of Question:	Life Issues
Category:	Other
Date Posted:	Saturday, 5/01/2004 4:10 PM MDT

wjkk wjkf,

im sorry to bother you, but i dont really have anywhere to go. currently im a high school student in the US. a bunch of things have been going on and im just really confused. my brother used to go to this boarding school in india, and he went there for about 8 years or so. when he was there, i never really knew him, and i know how selfish this sounds but my life was perfect. my younger sister was born in 97 and after that everything started to go wrong. my brother came to america from india in 2000. even though i had a brother, before he came here, i was always used to being the only child. when my sister was born, i was like the oldest. and then when my brother got here...i was the lonely middle child.

my family used to live in the northeastern US, and now we moved to the southeast. i hate the south. everything is so different : school, people, and life. i miss it all. my friends. my school. my town. even things i never thought i would like my old school counselor. she was great. she listened to me complain about my life, gave me awesome advice, and never judged me.

two years ago...my brother was exactly like i am now. he loved music, tv, friends, having fun, taking risks, and sikhi. but now all he does is think recite bani all day. im not saying thats a bad thing at all. its great that he is that way, but i'm not like that. my parents love him. everybody loves him. he is good at everything. in high school he was like the straight A student, and my parents loved that. at gurdwara...everyone loves him...when we had an akhand paat a couple of weeks ago, he did paat for a little while, and everyone was talking about how great he is, how great he can do paat, and i was there. no one says anything about me. my parent always compare me to him. i was the A/B student...he was the straight A student. i love going out with friends, calling them up on the phone, and just having a good time. he is the one who stays home and reads all day, and occasionally plays basketball for fun. i tell my parents that me and him arent the same person. and just because he is like that doesnt mean i have to be. i think its great..i really do...but im not like that...not yet atleast. i like having fun. i like living my life as a teenager while i can.

please give me some advice. thank you so much for your help, just writing all my thoughts down was helpful.

wjkk, wjkf

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Yes, it is hard to be the middle child. Some times, when the eldest sibling is sooo good, the next child tries to be different by being "bad." Try to avoid that pit. It will make you very unhappy in the end. It is hard to be new at a school, but you are social, so I'm sure you are making new friends fast. Try to find something you can excell in. Is there something you like...like sports, music, art? Find something that you are passionate about and develop your skill in it. Try to find who you are. Yes, you and your brother are different people...and that's good. It sounds like you are social...you like friends and being with people. Maybe you are a leader. Maybe you would like to get involved in something social in school, like school government - ever thought about running for a school office? Maybe you would excel at being a club president. Some schools have student moderators, who help kids solve their problems. The point is for you to evaluate your strengths and likes, and decide where you want to put your talents. Keep out of trouble, though. Don't try to get back at your family or get their attention by getting into sex and drugs and alcohol. You will suffer and have a long hard journey back to wellness. Just direct your energies to things you like and are good at. Good Luck. Keep us posted on how you are doing. GTKK