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Summary of Question:	I Have Leucoderma, Not Able To Find A Husband
Category:	Love & Marriage
Date Posted:	Sunday, 4/11/2004 11:20 AM MDT

Dear Sir SSA

Iam a highly qualified [Dentist] girl coming from a good family {my parents are both doctors].I am an Amritdhari , broughtup in the best traditions with a modern outlook. I am also better looking than average girls .But Ihave Leukoderma ,i.e.,Depigmented spots in several parts of my body .Though not apparent from my face .Iknow that this is not a desease but only a lack of pigment for which there is no treatment .I /my parents do not want to hide this fact from prospective suitors .Ihave everything going for me but .though response to my matrimonials is very speedy and positive ,the minute this fact is projected ,people backout .Ihave boys from non sikh families who are interested to marry me ,but Ido not want to dissapoint my parents by marrying out of my religion .My parents are facing great mental strain and delima as I have a younger sister also marriageable .What should I do ,leave my religion or remain unmarried .

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reply
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Any prospective sardar worth his weight would not care about this, and any in-laws of the 21st century would not buy in to old superstitions and outdated practices of condemning a woman because of such a thing. Your parents have no right to advertise you as damaged goods, nor should you leave your faith for this reason. (The only reason to leave your religion is if it doesn't suit your heart or feed you, as any spiritual path should.) What makes you WHO YOU ARE is not your Leucoderma but your spirit, your heart. Show your parents this response, and remember that the true Sikh of the Guru has no attachment to caste or condition. The true Gursikh is the one who remembers Guru in his/her heart, chants the Naam daily, and relies on Guru to handle all his/her affairs.

Do not assume that you are non-marriageable!!! Many women around the world, who were born with all kinds of handicaps, are married. The leucoderma is no big deal; remember that it could always be worse! Do not rely on your parents to find you a match. Be active in local youth volunteer activities and sangat sevas, and find yourself a sardar who appreciates you for who YOU are, blemishes and all. Guru ang sang,
-DKK