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Summary of Question:	Infedility Temptation
Category:	General Sikhism
Date Posted:	Saturday, 9/20/2003 11:30 AM MDT

REPLY

Sat Nam. Following is a suggested technique for dealing with the temptation of infidelity that has helped other women. The technique is for a woman to use her imagination in the most vivid manner possible, to envision commiting the entire act of adultery, and then to continue, very clearly envisioning and imagining how she feels immediately following this act and situation, and how she feels when she again sees and talks to her husband and family after it has happened. Doing this technique helps a woman to make a very conscious decision. It helps her to fully realize she is a making a choice that will have ongoing consequences in her own consciouness of who she is essentially. This decision is your friend's decision to make, so you should not feel you are responsible. Sat Nam. God bless you. -GMK

QUESTION
Fateh.
thank you for posting my comment. I have been asked advice on a situation with a very good friend of mine. She is non-sikh (muslim). I didn't know what advice to give her, it seems that this site gives advice to everyone with openness; so i thought i write it here and maybe someone can help me help my friend. First i will write the problem then what my advice would have been. But i have told her to relax for a little while untill i can help her come with a solution. She is muslim, her parents had forced her into a arranged marriage. She didnt oppose them because the guy she was in love with wasn't ready to face her or his parents. So her parents got her into an arranged marraige. She says her husband is nice, infact even her inlaws are pretty liberal with her. Usually inlaws can be a problem, as far as i observed them, they seem great and openminded people. We both have known each other since we were little kids, and i have always known her to do the 'right thing'. I know she was broked hearted when her boyfriend wasn't prepared to face her parents. She felt she had no choice but to marry the arranged husband. Two years since she's been married. Her husband was physically violent with her once. Her parents told her she can't divorce him, and her inlaws took her side and scolding the husband for his sins. Now, two years later, she has been thinking of seeing her old boyfriend. He wants to see her also. Problem is she confided in me that she wants to have an affair with her boyfriend (who doesn't know she is married) behind her husband's back. To me that isnt the right thing. She maybe dishearted at her husband's recent actions but adultery, well its adultery. I know she is young (23) and inexperienced but my heart didn't allow me to say to her that her decision is okay. I don't want to tell her what to do. She has gone through a lot of pain and feels this affair will help her get her mind off her situation. again, i didn't want to tell her what to do, i can't support her decision. I think even the Quran sharif defies adultery. I think at this point with all the heartache she doesn't care what is right. As a well wisher, what would you advice? I know if i tell her exactly how i feel , our friendship could be wrecked, what i am more worried about is she doens't have anyone else she can trust the way she knows she can trust me. So how do i face this situation and how would you?
Moderators, if u feel this is inappropriate i will understand if you don't post this.
Thanks.