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Summary of Question:	Friendship
Category:	Other
Date Posted:	Sunday, 1/21/2007 9:26 AM MST

Wahe Guru Ji Ka Khalsa

Wahe Guru Ji Ki Fateh

My dear,
You are stuck deeply in a fear that is so in your mind that you are caught in a duality that has no base.

I find it interesting to consider this, 'how do you introduce a cyber friend to your parents' and 'why is this so troublesome?'. Really this is not a problem. I guess your problem is not that you have a friend like this, but that you reply so much on his advice and support.This seems to be the base of your problem.

We all like someone to talk to. However, the degree to which you reply on this unknown someone seems to be more troublesome to you. I believe that you already know that this dialogue is not the best thing for you but you have become so attached to it that you are rationalizing and prejudging your parents with your guilt and fear running your mind.

This is how an addict talks. You do not want to give it up.....but you know it is not good. Your fear has nothing to do with your parents. More like your parents represent your consiousness that you are unwilling to face.

As an aside you honestly know nothing about this person at all. There is NO relationship and it falls in category of flirtation. It is very superficial being a voice without a presence. The voice could say anything to please or to distort and you will never know.

Yes, Guru and God are sending you a message. The message is to find the voice of your inner truth and the voice of your soul and let that be you guide to happiness and harmony.

Rather than copping out on your own sense of truth and inner wisdom, develop your pratice of Bani, and Simran and learn to listen to your voice of truth. Guru gives us so much technology and guidence to accomlplish this. A Sikh does not need to lean on anything else than God and Guru.

I am not saying this person is bad. I am saying that you would be better off developing your relationship with your meditative practice and your relationship with Siri Guru Granth Sahib to get guidence and support in your life. Being reliant on anyone, has a diminishing return. Eventually it will fail you.

Blessings to you,
SKKK

For now,

Sat sri akal,

I've asked this question before but no one has replied.
First of all, thank you so much for taking the time to read this question. I really appreciate your time and consideration.

My problem is this: I’ve met this guy on the phone in India when I was calling tech support and we’ve really gotten to know each other pretty well while solving computer problems. I’ve noticed that he is a very responsible, hard-working, understanding, and sweet person. So we exchanged emails and now we email and share stuff with each other all the time. But we have also made it very clear to each other that this is nothing more than friendship and I’ve explained to him in detail how much I love my parents and cant do anything against their will and how right now, all I can worry about is my studies. He understands this very well and respects me for clearing this up before we communicated with each other any further. I know that he is not the “bad” type who will take this dosti in any other way and he has constantly assured me when I bring up the topic. And he is super nice and really “cares” for me and “misses” me a lot-in a friendship way. And he always wonders whether we are destined to ever meet in real life face to face. He knows he cant call me or do anything like that cause he doesn’t want me to get in trouble…so he is willing to just email. But the thing is that I’ve never have done anything that my parents don’t know about and this is starting to eat me up from the inside. Is this right? Is this “legal” according to my parents’ laws? Is there anything “wrong” in all this? Despite the fact that we know that we are and will always remain just friends and never anything more, I still a fear inside me that I just cant get over. I want to know if this whole thing is ok according to my parents even though they don’t know nothing about this. But then again, he is a very interesting individual who has really helped me develop as an individual and has given me a lot to think about when it comes to life. He has given me motivation, encourgment, confidence, and most of all…discipline when I needed it most. Its funny cause….just when I needed all of this, this is when I first met him. Maybe waheguru wanted to tell me something through him. He truly is an amazing individual but I also get very nervous, scared, confused when I think of the other side: parents…even though I obviously have no intention of hurting them…I just don’t want to hurt them unknowingly as well. I understand that they were brought up in a different society, different world etc but they have to just keep the faith in me-which I believe is their responsibility. I mean…there are certain things such as friendship with the opposite gender that parents just done see as ok and can never understand that it can be just friendship. We are in the 21st century and we have to move on from these kinds of things and accept that the world has changed but I don’t know if parents think like that and if they will understand. I have never done anything to upset them, never have done anything against their will, never have put a “daag” on their izit and never never ever do I plan to do so either. I just cant afford to lose them…I’m just too scared. So I want to know what you guys think cause I obviously cant/don’t want to talk to my parents or this person. I really really need help and I would really appreciate your help in this matter cause as I said, its really starting to get on me now and I get more and more puzzeled,confused,and a bit nervous. Please please do reply.

Thank you so much!
Have a wonderful day.