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Summary of Question:	Indian Kids At School Mean To Me
Category:	Other
Date Posted:	Tuesday, 2/10/2004 5:55 PM MST

ssa all of u guyz…I dn have a lot of time so I ll be short…k I m 15 n I m in Canada…k…I just moved to a new city about 20 mins drive from my old city, I go to this new school now…there are not a lot of Indians there…just like in total of 20 or something together…and I was hanging around with them and slowly I found out that they talk behind my back and they like leave me out if they are doing anything…when I am with them they act like I don’t exist…I try to start a converstation and stuff but they jus say like ‘yes’ or ‘no’ thaz it…if I dn eat lunch…they dn even ask if im hungry or if I wana buy something…I tried to get involved like lending them money and stuff…buh they never return it…n they say how I always follow them…n other a lot of stuff…now what shud I do?…most of the other people are black…buh I wana hang around with a person whose atleast know who Indians are…no offence but I find it hard to hang around with black or white people and I am afraid that I dn start acting like them…I mean I use slangs and stuff but I dn wana act like they do..if u r in high school…u ll no what I am talkin about…so what shud I do?…I lost my trust in people…before when I met new people I didn’t had problems opening up to them…but now like whenever I meet new people I have this obsessions that I have to be perfect so they will have to like me and they wont have nothing to talk behind my back…I lost trust in my-self…I dn tell jokes because I think people will go behind my back n say how I think I am soo funny!!!!…what shud I do…thaz y I dn wana go to new school as this was my new school too…this how it is everywhere…now I can go back to my old high school which is almost 30 minutes from the bus…my mom first said ok…but my dad is very very strict I dn think he is goin to allow me…he was used to live in a pind in India…he went to school but I know he didn’t go through this stuff…and my mom wont dare to talk bak to him so that he can allow me..and now my mom is kinda bakin off too by makin excuses and I dn feel like going to school…I want to miss school…I even missed yesterday n lied to my parents and now I feel guilty…what shud I do,…plz plz help me…n by the way people at my old high skool…those people luv me…I didn’t want me to leave…most of the people are Indian there,,,plz tell me what I shud do…thanx a lot…please try to respond as soon as possible because I have to make a decision within two days!!..plzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz!!

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Sat Siri Akaal. I have personal experience from my childhood of moving to different schools and being harassed. I was younger than you, so it was harder! I got over it by deciding that the people harassing me were certainly not people I wanted as friends in my life, if that's how they treated people. It took time but I made OTHER friends and enjoyed myself.

Why do you limit yourself to Indians for friends? Youth everywhere have the same experiences, no matter what their color. You are the new kid, it makes the others think they are better to talk down to you/about you. Hold your head high and do not let on that it bothers you!!!! Also, consciously decide that such people are not worth your time (they aren't) and choose other friends. The concept of who is or isn't cool is momentary blip in your life. I remember it well. In the end you would rather have friends for life who are real, not 'cool.'

Be a beacon for cross-cultural understanding by be-friending people DIFFERENT than you and learn about their culture and teach them about yours by doing things together. Yah, it does take effort! And yah, you do have to take the first step, not wait for someone to invite you. Are you Sikh? Then be one, and live courageously! Join in after-school sports or clubs that allow you to make friends due to a common interest, rather than a common ethnicity. Today's world is one where people of all races are interdependent and neighbors and family. If your parents are going to send you to a different school then you have to make the most of it. It also doesn't mean you have to let go of your old friends in the other school. Perhaps you can see them on weekends.
Guru ang sang,
-DKK