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Summary of Question:	Dress Up Issue
Category:	Sikh Practices
Date Posted:	Friday, 1/07/2005 12:45 PM MST

Hi There,

I have a question about the way one can dress being an amritdhari. Living outside India, is it wrong to wear Pants and skirts for a girl ??? By skirt i mean long skirt covering all one's body, with a top covering the upper part and then a scarf to cover the head as guru gobind singh ji said to have the hair covered all the time, is this dressing sense wrong ???

I wear long skirts and got very much insulted by this so called very much god-loving amritdhari man. He was furious at me and gave me no chance to speak and said, that this is not the correct uniform to wear for amritdhari girls. I said i wear this at work and just got back from work, he was like, why don't you wear suits at work. I mean through out the conversation he was like so much angry at me and was practically insulting me. That was so mean of him, i had so much respect for him but he hurt me by this behaviour of his. He said, Guru gobind singh ji would say to you what you are wearing. I guess he assumes guru ji would like his one sikh to insult the other when the other is over at his home like this ???? He could have told me politely but no this man really made me feel bad.

In my opinion one should take care in making sure the body is fully covered and i do that all the time. What do you people think ?? God cares more about me wearing skirt or wearing suit or he would care more about my internal feelings ??? This man had a right to speak to me like this ???? I try to do my nitnem, i try to keep my hair covered as i was told when took amrit all the time, I attend gurduara on regular basis. I try to sit right at the front to listen to kirtan with attention and do not gossip about people coming at the gurduara, and i get noticed for something like this and treated so badly from a well known religious man !!! I could not tell him how i felt but his behaviour was really heart breaking. :(

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reply
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Dear Heart,
Wear what is comfortable for you that allows you to keep your discipline and rehit. From what you write here, you are dressing quite appropriately as an Amritdhari.
I can tell you that many many Amritdhari Sikh women of American and Indian heritage both, wear skirts, business suits, and/or nice pants to work. Also, a lot of us like to wear Indian suits because they are so comfortable (beats pantyhose!!!). This man had no cause to be rude or insult you. Do not let him sway you. He has a set idea about today's Amritdhari woman. Sikhi is not a religion just for its time (when the Gurus lived), it is a religion that is timeless. This means that some things will change, like how Amritdhari women dress for work. Same for Amritdhari men too! What if you worked in a hotel kitchen and were required to wear those apron shirts, a chef's hat, and plastic gloves and iron-toed boots to protect your feet? Would he still be upset? Let him and his insults go and forgive him. Be secure in your own faith and divinity and in your relationship to Guru. And if he insults you again, just turn your back and ignore him. He has no right to tell you how to dress.
Guru ang sang,
-DKK