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Summary of Question:	Sikh Wedding Planning...
Category:	General Sikhism
Date Posted:	Monday, 12/16/2002 7:10 PM MST

Sat Sri Akal

1)I plan on getting married in a year or two,
and at the party i don't want any alcohol,
when i told this to my family there like then no one
will show up, then i said i really didn't care, not that i didnt
care but the only ones who won't show up are the ones that do drink
alcohol, was that okay? should i make it clear on the wedding card
that there will be no alcohol nor will it be allowed from outside source.

2) On Sikhnet i watched a wedding ( i think it was Gurumustuk Singh Khalsa's wedding) i was really suprised and impressed!,i thought it was
really cool to have people sit and eat rather then what you would see in todays party hall, how can i do the same for my wedding? many people won't like that idea,but i really don't care what other people think,
i would love to have a similair wedding planned out,i would love it
if you can help me on that.

3) Is it okay if i add "Khalsa" in my name,even though i haven't
taken Amrit yet, but i do plan on taking it,i mean who wouldn't
want to become the Khalsa

One more thing,im the only one from my family that decided to
learn more and more and more about Sikhism, so every time
i express my self to them its really new to them,and
most of the time they disagree with me,so its always a back and forth
thing going on, well thats it, thanx for all your help!!

Sat Sri Akal
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Reply
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1. A wedding is your Anand Karaj with the Guru and the Sadh Sangat witnesses and assists. Good for you. Parties such as the ones where there is drinking etc. have nothing to do with the wedding. The party happens after the Gurdwara and langar event. Good for you! You can have a clean cut fun dinner party. All Gursikhs generally skip the getting drunk parties.

2. Just have the wedding party as part of the Langar. That is what we did for Guru Mustuk Singh's wedding. We had Bangra/Ghidda dancing and cake in the Langar Hall. Just sober fun. Start a new thing. Actually, many people do their weddings this way. Cut out the evening after the wedding event.

3. About your family....seems like they are a bit defensive when you begin your discussions with them. Perhaps, it will be better for you to continue your own exploration in a quiet way......you will give them a chance to adjust to the changes in you and give them a chance to be inspired rather than feeling confronted by you.

God bless you and keep up the good work!
SKKK