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Summary of Question:	Re: Marrying A White Girl
Category:	General Sikhism
Date Posted:	Friday, 1/11/2002 9:42 PM MST

The religious implications were addressed very well as to whether or not one should be free to marry a non-sikh. Buti have a comment to add that some may agree to and some may not. Although Sikhi is a religion and way of life, it is deeply tied into our Punjabi culture as well. As a cultural minority within the United States, we want to build a strong community and be able to live in harmony with other cultures around us without sacraficing our own. Although the questioneer feels it is fair to marry a white woman because she will convert to Sikhism. I also have to point out that this can sometimes hurt other Sikhs in the community. Many Sikhs want to marry other Punjabi Sikh and don't like to see their few availabe men or women lost to whites. I know this may not be a politicaly correct statement but we can compare to the African-american culture. African-American culture has always been emphazing the importance for blacks to marry within their culture and be strong role models for their culture. A black man or woman marrying a non-black is often considered to be ditchng their own culture. Most Blacks want to see Black men and women prosper,have good relationships with one another, have stong morals and in turn be excellent role models for thier own chidren. It gives the black community a sense of pride. Although this can be taken as an extreme example. How is the punjabi or any other minority community different? Why do we feel the need to marry outside our roots? Why can't we as a community make a commitment to stay together an be proud Punjabi Americans? Im not trying to teach hate because we can very well live in harmony with many other cultures WITHOUT having to sacrafice our own dentity. I think this is a real problem in our comunity. We need to start being role models for our younger brothers and sisters. We need to show strong sikh families are alive and well in America. Being Amrican doesn't mean havng to prove it by being with somone white or anything else. My own brother who is thirteen, keeps his hair and is learning more about his Sikh and Punjabi heritage. I am very proud of his strong sense of self but what does it say when he sees his older brothers and siters always marry out of their culture? It happens sometimes, but now it seems Sikh after Sikh is marying non-Sikhs. Its very discouraging for him since he loves his heritage and wants to keep it as a part of him always. He even wonders if when he gets older, will any Sikh Girl care to marry him and share the way of lfe.

I am a 22 yr old student myself and hope to marry a great Sikh man one day. I just wanted to share my opinion. I'd love to hear other people's coments.

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REPLY
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Sat Siri Akaal. You act as if those Punjab Sikhs who marry non-Indians are purposely looking to do so. While this indeed happens, it does not ALWAYS happen. You forget that Guru brings all kinds of people together for His purpose. Did it occur to you that Guru MEANT for the Punjabi and White mentioned in your post to marry? Their karmas are no doubt linked. Karmas and Guru's will go far beyond race and ethnicity. A true Gursikh sees God in all beings, no matter what their race, and does not limit him or herself within the narrow confines of skin color and ethnicity.

Practically speaking, Punjabis who emigrate to America cannot help but be aware that their children and grandchildren will be surrounded by whites, blacks, hispanics, asians, and others, and must not be surprised when their children's close friends and spouses turn out to be non-Punjabi.
Guru ang sang,
-DKK