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Summary of Question:	Rejection, I Need Your Help Please
Category:	Love & Marriage
Date Posted:	Thursday, 4/24/2008 3:41 PM MDT

WAHEGURU JI KA KHALSA WAHEGURU JI KI FATEH

hello again, thanx for your advice on "fight for khalistan"
since then i thought i had fallen for the most beautiful sikh girl, she had long shiny hair, chocolate eyes, and was extremely intelligent. i had liked her for years but had only recently had the courage to talk to her. when i did i found out that she was very friendly as well as all those other things. she gave me her number and hotmail address and also saw her more often because we had more classes together because i had been moved up to the higher tier classes (in high school).

after i got to know her she started talking to me more often by email and text message and i thought that she might actually like me. she sent me all sorts of mixed messages, she told me she liked love poetry and sometimes sent me pieces from poets, and talked about the hardships and joys of love. then i had a leg injury so i saw her less, but still she sent me text messages asking how i was, if i was feeling better and saying that she missed me. at this i sent her some sweet lines like "i hope to see you soon, because i know your smile will make me feel better" she seemed to like it, so i decided to write her some love poetry to seal the deal between us, and to tell her how i felt. i decided to give the poem to her when my leg was healed, so could jot it then give it to personally.

here is the poem i wrote, but with the name replaced with "KAUR"

when sir put us together
i was happy and shy the same
i wanted to know you
so i asked your name

KAUR, a name so sweet and free
it remoinded me of meercats
standing with glee

then i fell into those deep chocolate eyes
id never seen anything so beautiful
it was a real surprise

at that time i was shy and mallow
but none of that mattered
when you said hello

its that way you make me feel
when i see you and hear you
to this very day
i long to be near you

and just for a second
look into your eyes
to see that beauty
to feel that surprise

seeing you smile is the greatest pleasure
it doesnt matter
whatever the weather
your happiness is still
the greatest treasure

when i hear your voice
everything stops
those other guys
their jaws just drop
but ill still stand there
mouth straight and long
so i can hear
your beautiful song

love is a hard thing
it cant be controlled
but from a special friendship
im sure love can grow
the mould is our hearts
both of them together
never separationg
entwined forever

so even if we cant be together
those feelings i have will last forever

i also wrote a few more poems about her but only gave her this one, because i thought she would like it the most.

i thought she would really like it, but after i gave it to her, she wouldnt read it immediately, and the next day she said she hadnt read it yet and acted really distant and un-interested. then over the weekend i spoke to my best friend and he said that he had seen her (he was the only other person who knew about the poems) and asked her to give me a chance, but she had said nothing in reply. from that i thought i was set for disaster but pressed on and asked what she though about the poems on monday. she said that she didnt feel the same way and shoved the poem back to me. it broke my heart and i cried on the way home. when i was at home i felt that i was stupid for even trying, and all that courage i had plucked up was worthless. she obviously thought i wasnt good enough for her. i am the ONLY singh in my yeargroup with a dastar, and 99% of the others have shaven heads to look like muslims, maybe thats what she wants me to be like but you know i would never do that.

every time i see her now my heart aches and i want to be angry and hurt all those white boys he is now flirting with intentionally in front of me. does she want me to feel more embarrassed and upset than i already am? not only that but now she is constantly flirting with my other good friend (white) in front of me, as well as others.

please, what do you suggest i do and how can i forget her and move on away from these feelings?. i didn't want to the whole "dating" thing with her, just for her to acknowledge my feelings, and that hopefully she felt the same way. i thought she did feel the same way.

do you think i am better off without her because of kam and moh that come with liking her?

(REPLY) Sat Nam. Much time has passed since you posted your situation, and I'm just now reading about it. What you are describing is one of the most painful, and typical experiences of your stage of life. Possibly by now, since it's summertime, and no school, perhaps you are feeling better -- but please let me assure you that if this girl were worth your time and attention -- much less your heartfelt poetry, she would not have treated you this way! You are both too young to understand that "this too shall pass away " as it can seem like you're going to feel miserable forever, but believe me, you will get over it --- and the sooner the better! This kind of attraction is painful when it's one-sided, but you are -- as you say -- better off without her! There's a saying, "Time heals all wounds" and experience proves this to be pretty much true. It's just that this "first" time hurts a lot. Focus on your studies, recite JAAP SAHIB especially -- for it will restore your dignity and your courage and your self-esteem! (ANd of course reciting all the Banis will help build you into a powerful, successfull, and HAPPY man! Blessings to you, SP