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Summary of Question:	Mother,S Infedility
Category:	Love & Marriage
Date Posted:	Thursday, 10/23/2003 10:53 AM MDT

Wahe Guru Ji Ka Khlasa, Wahe Guru Ji Ki Fathe.

i am a 21 year old girl in a very peculiar situation.
i have always trusted god,and loved him. i always thought that what happens ,happens for good,and god is Just,guruji,gives and takes from you what you deserve.i live in a typical sikh,punjabi community.
my problem is my mother,s infedility.
my mom and dad have never gotten along,even though they did love marriage. now my mom is having an affair with my dad,s friend,who is also a family friend,. i got to know about it recently,after i saw and heard them talking,and since then my life is nothing but hell.
tell me what should i do,after this incident i have lost faith on God,love,and relationships.
i have started blaming god for everything,becoz my mother is an ardent worshiper of babaji.
noone knows about it,and my mom thinks she is in love with this man.This man is also married and has 3 daughters.my mother is contemplating to leave my father after my marriage for this man,and she is trying her best to get me married,coz i think i am her responsibility and burden on her,although i dont believe in marriage anymore.
The truth is after all this i love my mother a lot,and cannot do anything to hurt her.i have an elder brother who lives seperately with his wife,although we are very close.
i am in love with a guy,and our parents are planning to get us engaged this year, i love him, but still have no interest in marriage or life.
what should i do babaji,please help me,otherwise i will die maybe.
nobodyy knows about it,and i have noone to talk to.Tell me what have i done to deserve this???

(REPLY) Sat Nam. This is a very sad situation,and I can understand that it is making you very unhappy. Unfortunately, we forget that parents are people who can make serious mistakes, and that is not God's fault! Parents are not perfect. They all have their own karma to work out, and their own lessons to learn. God gave us each the ability to make choices, to either live righteously or not. God does not force us to behave in any particular way. You are foolish to blame God! On the contrary, you should thank God that you found out, so that you can understand how wrong adultery is, so that you will never commit it yourself. We cannot control how other people act. You might, however, tell your mother that you know about her affair, and that you are very very hurt and disappointed and disillusioned by her behavior. To lose faith in God and relationships because of her problem is to be blind to the fact that life is what we each make of it -- and you personally have the opportunity to have a happy married life with a good relationship with the man you say you love. Remember, people either live their lives as examples, or as warnings, and God allows us to decide moment to moment, day to day whether we are going to be victims of our emotions, or are going to relate to that higher consciousness that is our real identity. That is why we say "SAT NAM" - to remind ourselves of our permanent identity. All these human relationships are temporary, the only permanent thing is our relationshp with God. My earnest suggestion to you is for you to thank God for this lesson, pray for guidance, pray for understanding, and pray to forgive your mother, and pray for her to live righteously. Otherwise, you are adding insult to injury by wasting your time feeling miserable! I agree, this is a terrible situation, but you don't have to make it terrible for yourself! Get on with your own life, and in future, set an example for your children that will make you -- and them proud. Blessings, SP