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Summary of Question:	Family Values & Alcohol
Category:	Sikh Practices
Date Posted:	Tuesday, 5/23/2006 9:57 AM MDT

hi,

I am a "non-practising" sikh you can say i.e., cut my hair, eat meat, but i go to gurudwara and follow other sikh practises. The men in our family, however, drink - EVERYDAY!!! My parents are trying to get me married and they want it to be arranged because love marriage or marriage outside of the religion is "badnami" for them and the family. I ask you one simple question: Isn't drinking and making a complete fool of yourself more badnami than me getting married to someone who loves me a lot even though he is not a punjabi/sikh???

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Sat nam. Personally, my answer is yes to your question.
But from your family's point of view, they are looking at how your marriage looks to them and to their community and extended family. The practice, or tradition, in your family appears to be that marriages are arranged to suitable punbjabi men, period. What makes the man suitable evidently is not his level of commitment to Sikhi.

Your family is Sikh by heritage, but not by practice--based on your description with no disrespect intended. A Gursikh is known for his or her actions and for following Guruji's instruction; birth does not a Sikh make. By extension, marrying another who is Sikh by heritage only is no different than marrying a non-Sikh or non-Punjabi. Guru ang sang,
-DKK